Friday, June 1, 2007

Your 2007 MLB All-Stars

Your're probably asking yourself what a picture of the 2005 White Sox celebrating the World Series title has to do with the 2007 All-Star game. Well, it has nothing to do with it at all but there is going to be only one White Sox player in the All-Star game so I had to mention the team somehow. Plus we're all White Sox fans at heart so I figured I would appease everyone by showing a picture of the single greatest moment in the history of sports.

Anyways, Log asked me to make my picks for the 2007 MLB All-Star game and since I quite possibly have the most boring job in the world, he didn't exactly have to twist my arm. Even though, this is going to take awhile and only about six people are going to read this, anything beats trying to track down the publisher from some garbage newspaper in the middle of Arkansas (this is what I'm currently supposed to be doing).

For those of you who don't know, the All-Star teams are composed of 32 players from each league and the only stipulation is that each team must be represented by at least one player. Normally the starters are selected by a fan vote. However, this usually means that the starters all come from the Yankees and Red Sox whether they deserve it or not. Therefore, I'm going to select who I believe deserves it, not whose actually going to get it.

(The starters are in bold)


C- Jorge Posada,
Victor Martinez, Kenji Johjima
Although Posada is old as hell for a catcher, it's really hard to argue for anyone else. Martinez is a joke defensively and the best catcher in the league, Joe Mauer, has been hurt all year.

1B-Kevin Youkilis, Justin Morneau, David Ortiz
The firstbasemen in the American League have been surprisingly dissapointing. This leads to two first basemen being taken from the same team, the Red Sox. Which is really gay because the Red Sox are annoying. Morneau has much better power numbers but Youkillis is hitting almost 60 points higher. This one was a tough call.

2B-B.J. Upton, Brian Roberts, Ian Kinsler
I have absolutely nothing to say about these guys. Their teams are awful and I refuse to watch them play. Kinsler only makes it because his team sucks and I couldn't find anyone deserving.

SS-Derek Jeter, Carlos Guillen, Miguel Tejada
Even though Jeter is a gigantic douchebag, I had to make him the starter. Shortstops are expected to hit for average and score runs and that's exactly what he does.

3B-Alex Rodriguez, Mike Lowell
More Yankees and Red Sox but the rest of the third basemen in the league are brutal.

OF-Magglio Ordonez, Torii Hunter, Vladimir Guerrero, Ichiro Suzuki, Alex Rios, Carl Crawford
I'm continuing the theme of granting douchebags with starting spots. I have nothing against Guerrero but the other two are assholes. Power won out over speed in this case as the three backups are all threats to steal but lack the power numbers (or average in Rios' case).

Starting Pitcher-Dan Haren
Haren and Josh Beckett both have impressive records and great ERA's but the only statistic that Beckett beats Haren in is victories. This was an easy choice.

Backup Starting Pitchers-Beckett, Johan Santana, John Lackey, Chad Gaudin, C.C. Sabathia, Gil Meche, Jarrod Washburn
Every guy on here is deserving in my opinion. Gil Meche=the obligatory Royal.

Bobby Jenks, J.J. Putz, Joe Nathan, Jonathon Papelbon
Last year the White Sox had seven all-stars. This year just one. These are some pretty nasty closers though. If the AL has the lead through six you can just about forget about it.

Well, that's it for the AL. I'm considering doing the NL either this afternoon or Monday but why bother, the NL is garbage. If anyone actually read that whole thing besides Log or Buzzsaw, I'll be shocked.


Logan said...


Thanks for the article...well written. The only problem I have is that you left off Okajima. This guy has been lights out in the setup role and perfect on save opportunities when Papelbon is unavailable. Also, fuck you because there are least four people who read this blog, not two.

Buzzsaw said...

Okajima 100% does not deserve it .. Soriano until last game had 16 straight innings of no hit relief, but I don't think he should be on it. The relief pitchers pretty much have to be closers to make the all-star team. Mike, you need to run your NL list by me first, because you have no clue what you're talking about.

HAUS said...

Get on that NL list derson, you don't actually work anyway

papoose said...

i guess i make four

Guy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Guy said...

As much as I wish coming on here and making claims like "Grady and Hafner should be on the team" was merited, I just can't.

However, what does that say about the Indians? If they are 33-19 and those two haven't even gotten it going, watch out.

Another however though, you can say the same thing about the Red Sox (36-16) with Manny starting off relatively slow. They are scary.

Buzzsaw said...

Biglots loves the long ball. Ian Kinsler needs to be removed as quickly as possible. Placido Polanco definetly deserves a spot, even though he doesn't get HRs, he hits for a ridiculous average every year.

BigLots said...

I agree that Kinsler sucks ass but who do you suggest goes from the Rangers. I originally didn't have him on there but I needed to find someone.

Buzzsaw said...

Wow, I actually tried to figure it out but I've got nothing, no one either the Blue Jays or Rangers deserves to be on this team. I'd say just have four first basemen with Teixiera or, gasp, throw Sosa in the outfield. Either would work, but Kinsler is barely hitting .200 even though he was one of the hottest players in the league to start the season. The Royals at least have a player deserving of it.

Dr. Health said...

Therefore, I'm going to select who I believe deserves it, not whose actually going to get it.