Tuesday, July 3, 2007

It's Been Killing Me

This article is not meant to be funny. I am proud of what I was able to uncover tonight. What I did is comparable to figuring out a great Sherlock Holmes novel (I was never able to do that, but someone told me it feels pretty good) or a psychological thriller like the Sixth Sense (I realized he was dead halfway through the movie and still cried at the end (I was 20 yrs old))

You see, something has been eating away at my fragile soul for the past month. Every time I watched PTI, I kept thinking that Mike Wilbon reminded me of someone else. I didn't know if it was an actor from a TV show, a retired athlete, or some old college professor, but something about the way he looked (and yes, even talked) made me wonder: Who in the hell is your long lost twin Wilbon?

I know I could have asked others to help, but I needed to figure this out myself. I have early signs of dementia and Alzheimers. My memory and ability to "connect the dots" are both shells of what they used to be. Saying all that, I had a surprising epiphany 30 minutes ago.
Mike Wilbon is Rev Run. I copied pictures of the two celebrities so I could conduct a proper investigation. My findings sent tingles down my spine and awoke the sleeping giant that is my nether region.

Once I put the pictures side by side, everything went black. I must have fainted, as I woke up on the ground covered in sweat. Was it true? Were Wilbon and Rev Run look-alikes? Maybe more startling, could they be the same man?

I first applied my own version of Run's Hat to Mike's head. Wow, it was getting better. Next, I applied Mike's moustache and glasses to the face of Rev. I didn't even know who was who anymore. I had to "undo" some of my photoshopping to remember which picture started off as "Run" and which started off as "Mike".

Here's what I uncovered:


They were the same man!
Wilbon just takes off the hat and puts on the "newest version" of the oldest disguise in the book everytime he's on PTI.

The old moustache and glasses trick! Bobby Valentine would be proud.

God, I hate bragging, but I really feel like Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) at the end of The Da Vinci Code (aka a pretty big tool) I will try to post something a little less ridiculous later, but that was fun.

Rev's Blackberry journal post (which is more ridiculous than this article) at the end of season 2 is below. You tell me they're not the same person:

"Good Morning, how do you spell happiness: F-A-M-I-L-Y. Just like your kids, good times will come and go, so adjust to change and the constant flow. Life is what you make of it so you better make it count. Keep your eye on the prize and your arms around those you love. God is Love. Same time tomorrow knuckleheads. Rev Run"


marrowhead.

6 Comments:

Buzzsaw said...

Wow, that's pretty insane ... I'm shocked no one's pointed that out sooner. I totally realize how relieved you must feel, the same thing happened for me with Pete-o (from X) until one day I saw Corey Feldman in a purple jacket and top hat, the feeling of clarity has yet to be matched in my life.

Daris said...

haha ya its insane. lol about feldman. very obscure and funny.

falcon02520 said...

this is a great blog everyone. keep it coming.

Guy said...

Is it bad if I don't know who Rev Run is? I need to keep up with the times. I'm still stuck in the 60's and 70's rocking out to Led Zeppelin and the Beatles.

Daris said...

yes it is bad for the purposes of this article, i.e. there is no way it can be funny to you if you don't know who run is.

Rev is from the famed RUN DMC of the 80's. McCready I didn't know who he was until some roommates of mine started watching a show on MTV called Run's House. Suffice to say it is ridiculous, but that is how I became familiar with him.

Dr. Health said...

My findings sent tingles down my spine and
awoke the sleeping giant that is my nether region.