Monday, July 16, 2007

Knicks Win NBA TItle (Sort of)

Isiah Thomas is laughing in the face of all of his critics as his Knicks went an astonishing 5-0 in Summer League play and won what they thought was a mini-replica Larry O’Brien Championship Trophy. It was only later revealed that the trophy was made out of chocolate and covered with Roundy’s aluminum tin foil that had been spray painted gold. Eddy Curry, after hearing the news, was so ecstatic that he flew out to Vegas and ate the trophy without removing the foil.

Nate Robinson captured the Summer League MVP award averaging 19.6 points, 6.0 assists and 3.6 rebounds per game. Robinson’s 30 assists out in Vegas were actually more than he had accumulated in his 2,4567 games dating back to 4th grade. The two New York rookies, Demetris Nichols and Wilson Chandler, also had solid Summer League numbers averaging 15.6ppg and 13.4ppg, respectively. So, all three can be expecting max deals. During the Knicks championship acceptance speech Nate had this to say:

"I'm honored to have been selected MVP but more proud of my teammates and going 5-0. It's been a great week for us."

Nate’s new found “pass first” mentality means he might consider entering the Skills Competition instead of the dunk contest next year, which would finally prove that God doesn’t hate me. You see, I’m pretty sure that competition is timed and it would prevent me from trying to hang myself as I watch Nate miss his 300th attempt at a reverse, 360, east bay funk. (Spud Webb is so late 80’s!)

Isiah has left all of his doubters speechless. He can now sit back and laugh at all of those people who criticized him for playing two “shoot first, shoot second, pass only if the ball is ticking” point guards, owing the league $46 million dollars in luxury tax, and finishing well under .500 with the most expensive and ineffective roster in the history of the NBA.

Enjoy the “championship” Isiah, it’s the last one you’ll be winning for a long, long time.

Slam Article


Guy said...

One guy I wouldn't want to see in front of me in line at a buffet? Eddy Curry. That guy is a monster.

Buzzsaw said...

He is a monster, but I hope that's not a Chinese buffet you're talking about, all that MSG (pun-intended) isn't good for that heart of his ... we wouldn't want another Collier.

Guy said...

Ouch. I've got nothin.