We are less than two weeks away from the start of the college football season. Before Mark May, Lee Corso, and Lou Holtz can begin slowly terrorizing your soul and everything else you thought was right and good, I present you with the top Heisman candidates for 2007. (Beano Cook believes Jimmy Clausen will win 5 Heisman Trophies, starting this year, but he is really old and senile and smelly, so I’m going to breakdown the contenders for this years’ top college football award without his input.)
John David Booty: His name is almost as annoying as Pete Carroll’s slow ascent to the top of the “Biggest Jackass of All Time” list, but he’s pretty good and surrounded by a butt load of Grade A talent. Booty’s numbers last year were very impressive, passing for 3,347 yards. He had a completion percentage of 61.7%, 29 TD’s, and a QB rating of 144.01. His team is ranked #1 in every preseason poll, and with the exposure the Trojans now receive on a national level, expect to see him sitting in
Brian Brohm: A weak Big East, a stacked
He’s part of the famed, but now debunked “Derby City Duo”, which included legendary EA Sports 2006 NCAA College Football star Michael Bush. Bush is now playing in the NFL, so the newest version of the
Colt has the most impressive statistics, and plays out in
His 2006 season looked like this:
72.6 completion %
185.96 QB rating
He might be as overrated as Hawaiian bread, but he’s positioned himself quite well. I’m pretty sure Donny Kaczarowki, my neighborhood ”All-time QB”, didn’t ever put up stats this ridiculous over his 5 year reign at QB, so I'm thinking Colt has a chance.
Why? Well, you see Donny won our version of the Heisman every year; which I thought was unfair as I was the one catching most of his perfectly placed fades into the back of my neighbors’ pumpkin garden. Subject matter for another column I know, nonetheless, the comparison does suggest that “Baby Horse” does have a chance at garnering some Heisman support.
Darren McFadden: McFadden is really good. I mean really, really good. He just needs touches, and help from the rest of his team. Many top candidates fall by the waste side every year when their teams fail to perform. The Razorbacks will face a loaded SEC schedule, and winning enough games to merit Heisman consideration could be a problem. McFadden is a freak of nature, has a mom named Mini Muhammad, and drives a ridiculous car that would make Darius Miles jealous. Suffice to say, he has everything it takes to win the Heisman this year. Look at his 2006 numbers if you don’t believe me, Mini could be prophetic a few months from now if she predicts her son will win the Heisman. Hell, his ’06 numbers suggest he has a shot.
In 2006, despite a slow start due to a dislocated toe from an off the field incident at a night club in Little Rock, McFadden rushed for a school-record 1,647 yards, scored 14 touchdowns, and threw for 3 more touchdowns on just 9 passing attempts, becoming a first-team All-American.
McFadden is a pimp. I’d say he was the favorite, but he has an Irish last name and is black. This annoys me to no end, so I’m not giving it to him just yet.
Steve Slaton: Slaton is a pussy. He pulled the “I hurt my arm” injury after turning into a big ole’ fumble fest at
I have to include him on the list though, because the Mountaineer backfield is tops in the country, and with Pat White’s help, I can see the duo tag teaming the weak Big East; both literally and figuratively. Not since the days of “Famous” Amos Zereoue have hopes been so high for a WV Heisman candidate. But Amos finished 10th in Hesiman votes following his 97’ campaign, so Slaton better hope his ’07 season is better than Amos’ garbage nickname, or he’ll be an afterthought.
Michael Hart: My Michgan bias comes out here in full force, but Hart has the tools, and the offense to back up a Heisman run. He has been one of the most underrated players in college football the last few years, and is it just me, or does it seem like he’s been at
4.9 yards per carry
De Sean Jackson: De Sean is fast as shit. His 40 time has been clocked at 4.29. He is a threat every time he touches the ball, and other teams in the PAC 10 should be very afraid. I don’t know why he’s not playing at USC. I was under the assumption that every freak of nature west of the Mississipi went there.
Check out this little ditty about his 06’ Season:
Coming into his sophomore year with high expectations,
displayed more of his talent and playmaking ability tallying 1,060 receiving yards and nine touchdowns. He was also a constant threat to return any opponent punt into a highlight reel touchdown, taking four returns for a score and averaging 19.2 yards per a punt return - best in the nation. He was voted All Pac-10 first team as both a punt returner and a wide receiver. Jackson also garnered national recognition with selections to first team All-America Jackson
If you still don’t believe the hype, check out this clip and judge for yourself:
As mentioned already,
Here are some states from ’06 (He only played in 9 games):
18.5 yards per catch
Here are some of the beats he has laid on DB’s across the
So there you have it folks. I look forward to the comments. Beano Cook, I am coming for your old ass with Ron Pawlus, who seeks reparations.