Sunday, August 12, 2007

Tiger Woods: Swamped

(Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
Getty Images

Tiger Woods is winning the PGA battle, but losing a more important war; the one he's currently fighting with "Swamp Ass". I don't know if it was the pants, but he looked worse than Big John Daly. Now, Daly keeps cool by slamming warm Diet Cokes and smoking "heaters", so Tiger is doing something wrong. I was embarrassed for him. Look at that picture; he is smiling to hide the embarrassment that is "Swamp Ass". His version of the dreaded affliction has actually crept to the front side of the pants, and now it’s safe to say “Swamp Ass’s” more evil cousin, "Swamp Cock" is playing for keeps.

At the beginning of the PGA Championship, Tiger was asked about the intense heat and humidity at the PGA Championship in Oklahoma, and said:

"I just change gloves more often. That's about it. As far as your concentration waning, I don't see how that can ever be a problem."
Well Tiger, you might want to consider changing pants at the turn on Sunday. The temperatures at Southern Hills have been in the100's all week, with heat indexes over 110 degrees at some points. Sunday is expected to be even warmer. I know he's never lost a major with the 54 hole lead, going 12-12, so he doesn't have to worry about that.......but going 0-1 against the "Swamp Family" might not be worth that 13 slam.

Thank God I'm too poor to afford HD. Tiger IS Sweating the heat. Literally


Anonymous said...

After spending the last 20 minutes doing google searches for any brilliant articles or photos online referencing Tiger's shameful sweaty butt, I had to leave a comment here. This is the ONLY blog brave enough to razz Tiger about his very obvious "swamp ass". Bravo Log. Keep it coming.

Daris said...

Well, thanks and we appreciate the compliments. "Swamp Ass" is a serious problem, and we'd feel like we weren't doing our jobs if America wasn't made aware of it.

Tiger has shown all the symptons, and he's the most recognized athlete in the world. We had to do it.

Guy said...

Imagine being his newborn daughter. I would be so ashamed of my dad-- what a loser.

Buzzsaw said...

I'm not sure you can classify that as swamp cock ... there's just to much moisture. At somepoint you have to start talking about the possibility that he peed his pants. The height of the wet spot makes that seem unlikely, but you can never rule out the possibility of a choad. It's tough to picture, especially when one considers the color of his skin, but sometimes choad carriers are the ones you'd least expect.