On Wednesday night, heaven was hopping. God, the angels, the Holy Spirit, and even J.C. were hanging out just watching some baseball. While the Angels, their favorite team, were on commercial break, the Holy Spirit flipped over on God’s DirecTV MLB package to see what the Cubs and Reds were up to. As Ken Griffey, Jr. stepped up to the plate in the 8th inning, bedlam occurred:
God: Wait, Ken Griffey, Jr.? Didn’t I already get that task over with?
Holy Spirit: No, I was wondering what you were doing-- he’s been healthy all year. He’s got 30 homers, 93 RBIs, and he’s batting .277. But haven’t the Reds suffered enough? This would be totally unnecessary.
God: Wow. I’m really disappointed in myself. I usually take care of him by about June.
(fast forward to bottom of the eighth-- Ryan Theriot singles to right field… and Griffey injures himself…. Throwing the ball??-- a deep laughter is heard throughout the heavens)
Jesus: Dad, you’re such a dick.