Friday, November 2, 2007

Weekend Sports Betting Preview


I suck, so I'm not gonna waste my time with a single game preview ... plus I'm lazy. Also, it's the Hawks opening night, and I'm too excited to think about anything else. It's actually weird how excited I am. For anyone who bets the NBA, 80% of people are on the Mavs, and the line hasn't budged ... they're winning. On to the picks.

Buzzsaw:

Temple +9 v Ohio
Virginia pk v Wake Forest
Notre Dame -3 v Navy
Redskins/Jets over 35.5 ... I'm gonna be on this huge, Skins defense is being majorly overrated their CBs are in shambles ... again.
Vikings +7 v Chargers

Biglots:

Ohio State -16 v Wisconsin
Texas/Oklahoma State Under 61.5
South Florida/Cincinnati Under 50.5
Browns/Seahawks Over 46.5
Eagles +3.5 v Cowboys

Guy:

Oregon -8 v Arizona St
Minnesota +12 v Illinois
South Florida -5.5 v Cincinnati
Colts +5 v Pats (Addai will be pow pow pounding the ball)
Saints -3 v Jaguars

Sammich:

Ohio State -16 v Wisconsin
Navy +3 v Notre Dame
UCLA -1 v Arizona
Colts +5 v Patriots
Seahawks +1 v Browns

Thursday, November 1, 2007

The truth on LeBron’s horrible outing


LeBron sucked last night. Considering that he is one of the most talented players in the game today, there have to be some deep, dark reasons as to how he could let himself look like complete shit on the opening night of the NBA on ESPN. We’ve come up with a few ideas:

1. He was up late last night waiting to get confirmation on the Joe Girardi hire. Being a Bronx native Akron native, he was really excited about bringing Girardi back to pinstripes. He’s loved the Yankees ever since he was young and they were good. Respectable.

2. After seeing the big news about Tony Romo’s new outrageous contract, LeBron called him up to congratulate. Being that his grandma’s sister’s cousin’s maid’s ex-boyfriend is from Dallas, LeBron just loves those Cowboys (and always has-- no bandwagon jumping here). He was so excited that he flew Romo into Cleveland, took him downtown and celebrated accordingly, being up into the wee hours of the night. Stupid hangovers.

3. Upon seeing Grady Sizemore and C.C. Sabathia in center court lower level seats decked out in Mavericks gear, LeBron was hurt that professionals that play in his own city would root against him and the Cavs’ quest to make it to the NBA Finals again to get embarrassed. Oh wait, Grady and C.C. would never do that.

Don’t be surprised when Anderson Varejao signs a 5 yr/$55 million desperation contract offer.

Guy's Favorite Guys (Vol. 3, Halloween Edition; Special Guest Co-contributor-- Le Cheff)


Tis the Halloween season and the costumes are out, as usual. The typical college male is on the prowl and making a fool of himself. To cut the suspense, lets just get right down to it.

"I'm huge and looking to show off the bod" Guy

This is the guy thats wearing the tight muscle shirt and is pushing you out of the way while he's trying to get to the keg. He most likely looked at himself in the mirror, checking out his package in his speedo, before he gained the self esteem to come out in public with it on. Favorite quote: "Hey ladies, check out my pecks."

"Athlete wearing their own jersey" Guy

We get it. You play a varsity sport at a college or high school. Congrats, man. The least you could do is show off the huge bod like "I'm huge and looking to show off the bod" Guy. Dick. Favorite quote: "I play sports in case you didn't know."

"Dude where's your costume?" Guy

So there are some people that don't sport the costume at the bar. Whatever. They don't need the asshole in his shitty Boston Red Sox cap and David Ortiz jersey shirt asking "Hey man why didn't you dress up? I'm Big Papi tonight, and you're just a bum!"

"Guy that dresses up like the person that he intrinsically wants to be" Guy

Maybe a tough concept for you blog readers, but stick with us. Think about the wigger that has always wanted to dress like a black man, but has never been able to do it in a social setting. Tonight is his night to wear an Allen Iverson jersey with only one shoulder being covered with the AI sleeve, and a teardrop drawn in black Sharpie under his left cheekbone. In turn, all of the black innuendos that he has wanted to pursue come out tonight-- it's finally acceptable. Favorite quote: "Wassup dawg?"

"Way too cool to dress up" Guy

These guys sit in the corner and make fun of all the assholes that we just described. Rightfully so? Maybe. But hey, it's Halloween. You're supposed to make a jackass out of yourself.

It's November 1st by the time of this posting. Better late than never.