Tuesday, July 3, 2007

I Can't Think of a Fitting Title For This Article

I am going to start this article with a random link of Billy “Kernels” Walker from Kansas State who got a little hungry during K-State’s NIT game this past spring. I didn’t tell anyone about it because no one would believe me without some proof.

Here it is: Billy is Hungry

It’s absolutely hilarious that the announcers see him eating the popcorn and decide not to say anything about it.

I just wonder if he went to get it himself. Taking into account the fact that Walker is a Bob Huggin's recruit, the exchange at the concession stand probably went something like this:

Billy Walker- “I’ll take a large bucket of popcorn, extra butter”
Concessions Person- “Aren’t you on the team?
Billy Walker- “Ummmmmmmmmm…………nope.”
Concessions Person- “Ya, sure your not. Anyway, that will be $4.50.”
Billy Walker- “Shit, I don't have any money. Slowly hand me the popcorn and back away from the register ho, or I'm going to have to use this (Gun under his warm-ups)."
Concessions Person- “Are you really holding me up for a bucket of popcorn?”

The “greatest” NBA Draft of all time went on this past week. I heard that ‘greatest’ word being thrown around way too much before, during, and after the draft. I don’t know how anyone can consider a draft the greatest of all time until 5-10 years down the road, but maybe I’m wrong.

5 Things that can make this the "Greatest Draft of All Time":

1. Top secret video footage is released three months from now showing Greg Oden being formally introduced as the new president of the AARP. (I'm pretty sure Bill Russell has just dyed his hair in hopes of winning another NBA Championship.)

2. The NBA creates a new award titled “Gayest Player of the Year” to go along with its MVP, 6th Man of the Year, Comeback Player of the Year, and Defensive Player of the Year awards. Joakim Noah wins the award every year from now until his death and no other player is even considered. Not even Antoine Walker, with his gayer than Christmas "Shimmy", can compete.

3. (a) Yi fails in the NBA and instead becomes Bernie Brewer, mascot for the Milwaukee Brewers, or
( b) the Bucks are forced to move to China after Yi wins a best out of three “rock-paper-scissors” contest against Bucks owner Herb Kohl. Kohl, immediately after the game, is heard saying “Damn it, I should have gone with ‘enney meeny miney mo”

4. Stephen A. Smith never covering another draft again. His name should be Stephen A. A. Smith because, quite frankly, he’s an annoying asshole, and I bet he smells like Cheetos. You're not a sports journalist Stephen A. A., you're a cartoon character!

Jared Dudley, drafted #22 by Charlotte, finally admits that he not only looks like a lesbian, but actually is one. Then, he, Josh Boone, and Tyrone Lue arrange a three-way marriage.

Pretty cool gambling story involving Eric Lindgren (professional poker player) who had to play 4 rounds from sunrise to sunset out in Vegas and shoot below 100 from the tips. He started at 5:45am after a night of heavy drinking. The bet was over $300,000.

Here is the link to the story and some video footage of his four rounds: RAW VEGAS

I am really shocked ESPN had this article up for a number of reasons. This man knows nothing about what Michael Jordan has done behind the scenes, and more importantly, has no idea why Jordan chooses to stay out of the “social issues” spotlight. This is amateur hour journalism. True social liberals respect Jordan’s right do whatever the hell he wants as long as it’s not directly effecting someone else in a negative manner. There’s a big crack in his ideology if he thinks Jordan has any responsibility to become more involved!

Some Conclusions:
1. I hate putting pictures in the damn articles. Log, you'll need to help me out with that from now on.
2. I ate a Garden Sensations Chicken Ceasar Salad from Wendy's tonight. It was disgusting unless you like watery chicken and bugs on your lettuce. Also, the amount of ice Wendy's puts in its drinks is insane, and I think it's being done on a national level.

3. There is some pretty exciting boxing coming up over the next couple of weeks, and I will get up an article about it sooner or later. Oh, and the tentative date for Mayweather vs. Hatton is November 10th according to Hatton's wanker father.

4. I apologize for the random and boring nature of this article. I think my editor needs something to motivate me ($$$$$$).


Editing never felt so wrong.

the nighthawk


Brian said...

I'm surprised at your outburst on the Jordan article.

While I don't agree with everything in the article, I can understand where he's coming from.

Jordan's popularity affords him an opportunity to make a very positive impact on many social issues or problems. It is his choice to do what he wants to do but I must agree that I find it a little disappointing as well.

To me, it's a shame not to act on an opportunity to help others that are far less fortunate. I don't feel it's his "responsibility" to become publicly involved but it sure would be a great thing if he were.

His influence, particularly in the black community, could be almost unparalleled. I hope he chooses to use this in positive ways.

That being said, I will still love Jordan for his basketball ability. I've never looked up to him as a role model for anything other than that. I think it would be great if that changed.

Other notes:

- Who orders salads at fast food restaurants? Gross.

- I think I could do what Lindgren did. Offer me up a bet.

Buzzsaw said...

If Tyronn reads this, he'll make you his bitch .. Go Hawks

Logan said...

I don't know Daris, it looks like you're doing pretty well with the pictures judging by the one of 'Toine.

Daris said...


My point is this: We don't know why Jordan chooses to avoid being in the spotlight on social issues. Its unfortunate, I agree, but he might have a more than legitimate reason for doing so. Until we are 100% sure its apathy, commenting on what he has/hasn't done is purely speculation and makes one look stupid. Wishing he would do more is one thing, as I wish everyone, not just Jordan, would lend more of a helping hand, but saying he has a responsibility to do such things is insane.

My problem is with the man's logic. He is promoting all these "liberal" causes (i.e. minorities(katrina), leaving iraq), but his argument cuts against the true notion of being liberal.

Most social liberals are pro-choice (not just talking about aboriton here). Meaning any man/woman decides what he or she wants to do. Along those lines, this man should be ok with Jordan's choice to be inactive.

He's not Ali, and this type of thinking stunts African American growth. Only schools, parents, friends, and an improved education system will fix the problem. One really famous black guy will never be the solution.

HAUS said...

Nighthawk...hmm I've heard that somewhere before if I recall...

Brian said...

Free choice to do what he/she wants...

What about the choice of whether he/she wants to bear a larger percentage of the social burden in taxes.

About Health Blog said...

It is his choice to do what he wants to do but I must
agree that I find it a little disappointing as well.