Keeping BigLots Honest

With the MLB All-Star Game coming up, and not much else to write about, let's see how BigLots did with his AL All-Star Picks. And let’s just stick with the AL—because honestly, I don’t really know much about the National League. I went to a Reds-Phillies game earlier this year, sat in the bleachers and couldn’t see the names of the players because Great American just posts the players # on the scoreboards around the park and we were too high to be able to read the JumboTron (or whatever the kids are calling it these days). It was like playing a game of Ken Griffey, Jr. Baseball on SNES where all of the players have ridiculous names. Seriously, when you see the names “D. Ross” and “A. Burr,” can you even tell me which one is a garbage catcher on the Reds and which one is a Kansas City Royal on Ken Griffey SNES? Well, probably, because A. Burr is the guy that said goodnight to Alexander Hamilton, but you get the idea. Anyway, give the benefit of the doubt considering BigLot’s article was posted about a month before the actual team came out AND add in the fact that the idiotic fans vote for the starters. On with it.

Catcher- BigLots’ pick: Jorge Posada. All-Star Starter: Ivan Rodgriguez.

Jorge still made the team, but BigLots didn’t even have Pudge on his roster. My completely unbiased belief is that Victor should be starting.

First Base- BigLots’ pick: Kevin Youkilis. All-Star Starter: David Ortiz.

Not really sure where the stats stood at the time of the posting of this article, but Ortiz is better than or the same as Youkilis in every statistical category but batting average and stolen bases (and that includes OPS). That said, the kid from Minnesota got robbed.

Second Base- BigLots’ pick: B.J. Upton. All-Star Starter: Placido Polanco

Another whiff for BigLots, as Polanco isn’t even on his roster and Upton didn’t make the real team. Whatever, second base sucks anyway. Wish for a mulligan granted.

Shortstop- BigLots’ pick: Derek Jeter. All-Star Starter: Derek Jeter.

Nice one, BL. To celebrate this correct pick, I’m going to fire off a Jeter jersey to Logan. Check your mail within the next 7-12 business days.

Third Base- BigLots’ pick: Alex Rodriguez. All-Star Starter: Alex Rodriguez.

Nice. I would make an A-Rod and his wife joke, but they’ve all been used and I don’t recycle because the bin is outside and that is way too far when the trash can option is easily accessible.

Outfield- BigLots’ picks: Magglio Ordonez, Torii Hunter, Vladimir Guerrero.
All-Star Starters: Magglio Ordonez, Ichiro Suzuki, Vladimir Guerrero.

As Meat Loaf once said, “two out of three ain’t bad.” For some reason, I had this vision of Magglio being left off and I was excited to call it a crime, but BL knows his AL baseball.

Starting pitchers- BigLots’ picks: Dan Haren, Josh Beckett, Johan Santana, John Lackey, Chad Gaudin, C.C. Sabathia, Gil Meche, Jarrod Washburn
All Stars: Dan Haren, Josh Beckett, Johan Santana, John Lackey, C.C. Sabathia, Gil Meche, Justin Verlander

This is kind of getting boring to both me and you, so I’m going to skip BigLots’ 3 for 4 on relief pitchers.

Overall, BigLots didn’t do a bad job considering all of the variables. Hats off.

The All-Star game is on Tuesday at PNC Park. So, you know, watch it or something. And root for the AL so the Indians can have homefield in the World Series, only to ultimately lose to the shitty Diamonbacks or something since the trend is Ohio teams getting second place this year.