Friday, July 6, 2007

Our Joke of a Legal System

I thought I’d compile a list of some of the most ridiculous lawsuits I could find because, well, they’re funny—in a sad and pathetic sort of way. Just to make things clear I didn’t do any real research or anything (not my style), I just googled “ridiculous lawsuits”.

  • In 1997 a man named Bob Craft, from Hot Springs, Montana, legally changed his name to Jack Ass. In 2002 he sued MTV, claiming that their show “Jackass” and subsequent movies plagiarized his name, violated copyright laws, and defamed him. He sought $50 million. What a jackass! (TrueStellaAwards.com)
  • Roy Pearson sued a dry cleaner for $54 million after they lost his lucky pants. He claimed that the loss of the pants caused him to lose out on a business deal he was attempting to close that day. The trial lasted only two days and the plaintiff was ordered to pay the defendant’s court fees. (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19414287/)

This one was so ridiculous that I thought I would just quote the entire write-up:
  • “Doug Baker, 45, of Portland, Ore. Baker says God ‘steered’ him to a stray dog. He admits ‘People thought I was crazy’ to spend $4,000 in vet bills to bring the injured mutt back to health, but hey, it was God's dog! But $4,000 was nothing: he couldn't even take his girlfriend out to dinner without getting a dog-sitter to watch him. When the skittish dog escaped the sitter, Baker didn't just put an ad in the paper, he bought display ads so he could include a photo. His business collapsed since he devoted full time to the search for the dog. He didn't propose to his girlfriend because he wanted the dog to deliver the ring to her. He hired four ‘animal psychics’ to give him clues to the animal's whereabouts, and hired a witch to cast spells. He even spread his own urine around to ‘mark his territory’ to try to lure the dog home! And, he said, he cried every day. Two months in to the search, he went looking for the dog where it got lost -- and quickly found it. His first task: he put a collar on the mutt. After finding the dog, he sued the dog sitter, demanding $20,000 for the cost of his search, $30,000 for the income he lost by letting his business collapse, $10,000 for ‘the temporary loss of the special value’ of the dog, and $100,000 in ‘emotional damages’ -- $160,000 total. God has not been named as a defendant.” (TrueStellaAwards.com)
  • A woman is suing Mars Inc., the makers of Starburst candy, claiming the candy was too chewy, causing her to suffer from temporal mandibular joint dysfunction. I’m not a doctor but I think that means she f’ed up her jaw. She wants $25,000. Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, the offending Starburst was yellow. (Foxnews.com)
  • At the University of Idaho a student was looking out his dorm window that overlooked a street when he saw several of his friends passing by. He decided he would get their attention by pulling down his pants and mooning them. When he went to stick his “moon” out the window he fell and hurt himself. He then proceeded to sue the University for not providing sufficient warning of the dangers of the second story windows. (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19414287/)

America, what a great country.

9 Comments:

Jeffrey said...

speaking of legal issues...i wonder how difficult it will be for this girl to get a liscence when she turns 16.
http://player.clipsyndicate.com/main/player?playlist_id=190&clip_id=1035345&cpt=8&

legalreform said...

As you are undoubtedly aware, a $54 million lawsuit was recently brought in DC District Court against a small neighborhood drycleaners over a pair of alleged lost trousers. While the Court found resoundingly in favor of the business owners, Jin and Soo Chung, their ordeal is not yet over—they have drained their saving accounts contesting this frivolous lawsuit, and they have racked up over $100,000 in legal expenses.



In order to help the Chungs defray their legal bills, ILR and the American Tort Reform Association are co-hosting a fundraiser on Tuesday evening, July 24 at 6 p.m. at the US Chamber Building in Washington, DC. Unfortunately, businesses large and small across America must deal every day with similar extortionist tactics from some plaintiffs’ lawyers. The collective outcome is not justice, but lost jobs, ruined businesses and billions of dollars in lost economic opportunity. Additional details, sponsorship opportunities and easy online registration are available at www.chungfundraiser.com.

Daris said...

i dont even think i knew how to tie my shoes at 11. ....and she was drunk. Who is this chick? She was from Alabama so I might have a chance.

Matt Jenks said...

Only if you're her brother.

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