Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Heisman Watch: Week 3

Just a reminder, in case you're really confused, this isn’t your normal Heisman Watch list. We don’t care what players did last year or what 'the man' says. This list is based solely on this year’s performance and my personal biases. Alright, let’s bully:

1) Tiquan Underwood, WR, Rutgers: 20 Rec, 500 yd, 3 TD

Tiquan is Log’s Blog’s poster man; he’s been top 3 in our list every week thus far. He has been as consistent as any player in the nation, and he depends on Mike “Awful Quarterback” Teel to pass him the ball. This week, Underwood had his third straight game of 100+ yards receiving and added another touchdown … all of which were gathered the 2nd quarter. This is all despite Greg Schiano’s continued efforts to chop (Under)wood, and his Heisman campaign; he clearly has sided with the Ray Rice. To go along with the TD, Tiquan got Rutgers into the red zone twice on deep passes … in each instance Rice vultured the TD. Would it kill Schiano to call a fade once and awhile? Undies is doing all of this without being the focal point of his team, we love him.

2) Colt Brennan, QB, Hawaii: 103/133, 1262 yd, 12, 1 INT, 4 rush TD

Colt has continued his magical season by dismantling UNLV in Vegas. This time he showed his versatility, that he can beat teams with his arm AND his legs. Brennan went 26/32, 298 yards, 2 TD and also added 3 rushing TDs. This was an especially important game for Colt as his brothers were finally able to see him play; they are normally unable to make the trip to Hawaii from California. Luckily, Rocky and Tum Tum were able to see one of the best all-around games of Colt’s college career.

3) Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma: 59/74, 823 yd, 11 TD, 1 INT

Had to drop Bradford a couple spots due to an INT at Utah State last week, but he had another solid game overall. We really appreciate that Bob Stoops has presented a respectable Heisman candidate from his team, the other serious national title contenders to this point, USC and LSU, have not. Pete Carroll has turned into the college version of Mike Shannahan, it’s actually creepy how much high school boys love him, top RBs are willing to split carries to play for him … it’s kind of gay. Uhh, getting off topic, Sam Bradford is good.

4) Dorien Bryant WR, Purdue: 20 Rec, 218 yd, 198 total yd/game

There are too many stats to write for Bryant, he’s the best all purpose player in the country … sorry DeSean. This is despite only being punted to 3 times even though Purdue has forced 22 punts; he’s kicked to 13% of the time. DeSean Jackson on the other hand has been kicked to on 6 of 18 punts, or 33%. That’s a very, very key stat. Bryant also has 279 yards on only 6 kickoff returns, a 46.5 yard average. He made the list in week 1 because of his kickoff return for a touchdown, but the last two weeks he has also dominated as a receiver. Last weekend, for instance, he had 95 yards receiving, 39 yards rushing, and a routine 58 yard kick return. Dorien hasn’t even gotten to the easiest part of his schedule, as Notre Dame doesn’t come to town for two weeks… watch out.

5) Graham Harrell, QB, Texas Tech: 120/160, 1317 yd, 14 TD, 2 INT

Another day, another 400 yard passing performance for Harrell. It is a travesty that ESPN is not talking about this guy yet. I might be a simple mind, but I don’t understand how anyone can be stroking John David Booty’s dick while Harrell is left unserviced. How much different would USC be with Harrell at QB? No different at all. For some reason, Heisman voters have decided to make the QB of the best team in the country a top three Heisman candidate, regardless of his importance to their team. We’re against that here.

6) Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College: 77/130, 985 yards, 7 TD, 3 INT

I was not a believer in Boston College before the season, but they’ve played arguably had the most difficult schedule in the nation to this point, and he has led the Eagles to a 3-0 start. I bet Tom O’Brien is beginning to regret his decision to leave Boston College for NC State, which he did because NC State “has a better chance to recruit BCS level talent.” It’s going to be tough to recruit Ryan-level QB’s to NC State when they realize that it’s only the third most desirable school in Raleigh-Durham. He better just hope to hit the jackpot on some overrated, sidearm-throwing QB… I’m a Philip Rivers hater.

7) Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas: 57 carries, 346 yards, 3 TDs

McFadden has only played in two games thus far this year, and has been unbelievable in both. Last weekend, he put Arkansas on his back to take the lead after being down 21 pts at Alabama, but 21pt deficits are the least of McFadden’s Heisman problems. D-Fad has been one of the many excellent players to suffer through the SEC’s phallic QB surname epidemic of 2007. Casey Dick (Arkansas), Brandon Cox (Auburn), and Chad Penis (Ole Miss) have set back their kind 100 years and, in turn, their teammates.

8) Percy Harvin, WR, Florida: 10 Rec, 215 yd, 2 TD, 16 rush, 156 yd

Harvin finally had his breakout game at Florida, he caught 4 passes for 120 yards and rushed nine times for 75 yards against rival Tenessee. He’s also one of the hardest working players in the NCAA, and he better be if he wants the public to overlook his first name. Last year, Percy was overshadowed by his counterpart Dallas Baker, he was the Carlton to Baker’s Will Smith. He’s finally out of the Touchdown Maker’s shadow, but Percy has not stopped doing the impossible, he’s also made Tim Tebow look like an accurate passer.

9)Andre’ Woodson, QB, Kentucky: 65/95, 743 yards, 9 TD, 0 INT

I’ve got to give it to Andre’, he outplayed Brian Brohm. Brohm threw his first INT of the year in the first two minutes of their game, absolutely killing Louisville. If it’s actually possible to kill a team’s chances in the opening minutes, he did it. The INT immediately followed a fumbled kickoff which had been converted into a FG; Woodson’s offense converted the INT into a touchdown, thus ending Louisville’s chances of a cover win. It will be interesting to see how Woodson performs against actual defenses, if last year was any indication, he could be on this list for a long time.

10) John Parker Wilson, QB, Alabama: 55/98, 666 yd, 4 TD, 3 INT

The Heisman is about a lot more than stats, and Wilson’s are underwhelming and somewhat satanic, but he had the best “Heisman Moment” of the year thus far against Arkansas. He threw the game winning touchdown with 8 seconds left last weekend, on national TV. Previous Heisman winners include Eric Crouch, Jason White, and, now, Troy Smith so you know that being the most skilled player in the country is not a prerequisite for winning the award. JPW has everything; athletic ability, team success, and, or course, massive sex appeal. Sex appeal cannot be underestimated by Heisman Watches; it got Brady Quinn all the way to New York. You aren’t a real Heisman candidate until you make me question my sexuality, and JPW certainly has. I mean, has not. I mean, has. I'm so confused.

1 Comment:

Guy said...

Underwood might want to book that plane ticket to your apartment.