Thursday, January 31, 2008

Clipper Darrell Soon to be Maverick Darrell?

Mark Cuban just had a meeting with that guy. Ya, the one in the above picture. Cuban wants him to work for the Mavericks.

That guy is Darrell Bailey, known to many NBA fans, owners, and players as “Clipper Darrell”. He has been a loyal LAC fan for the last 25 or so odd years. Hmm, well maybe not. I’m not actually sure how long he’s been a fan of the team. Quite honestly, I just made that number up. I’m just surprised they found one.

To most Clipper fans-who haven’t went “barrel to the mouth”- he is that annoying guy who won’t shut the fuck up when other people are trying to enjoy themselves and concentrate on the game. He does the same bullshit all annoying fans do, you know, like starting obnoxious chants and embarrassing himself during “live halftime performances”. Basically, he just makes a giant ass out of himself every time he shows up at a game. He’s been to over 280 consecutive Clipper’s home games, and I’d venture to guess he’s wore that absurd Red/Blue suit getup to every one.

Chances it’s been washed more than 3 times = very minimal.

Chances the song he uses during his halftime performances is “My Hump” by the Black Eyed Peas = very likely .

Chances his car looks like a clown mobile = well you decide:

Anyway, for some reason Mavericks owner Cuban was impressed with Darrell when he heard him yelling and yearning for attention at a Clipper’s game. Reportedly, Cuban quickly acted and offered Darrell a job to sell out and cheer for Dallas. There is no word yet as to whether or not Darrell is going to become a full time Mavericks fan. It’s bad enough athletes can go from team to team but now franchises are competing over obnoxious fans too. What a kick in the dick?

If a billionaire offered me a hundred grand to go cheer for the Mavs and watch basketball, I would definitely go do it. The Clippers, on the other hand, would have to offer me a couple million, and more importantly, Sam Cassell would have to contractually agree to allow me sit on his lap during all time-outs. Cassell would also have to give me Eskimo kisses on demand and would be forbidden to smile throughout the season; excluding teammate’s birthdays of course. Everyone deserves to smile on a birthday.

People have been expressing their opinions via Darrell’s myspace page:

“Make dat money”

“You can be a Clipper fan at heart and a Mav fan for the $....make dat money”

“If you leave you will be public enemy #1”

A celebrity was even asked what they thought about the Clip D situation:

“I’m Jack Nicholson, who the fuck is He. I want the truth!! Make dat money”~Jack

Written By Sockless Dilemma

Clipper Darrell's Myspace Page

Clipper Darrell's Web Site

Dallas Mavericks News


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