Full disclosure, I love the Eagles, always have and I always will. This column will be a chance for me to be honest with myself, a type of therapy. I know all of the football ‘experts’ are telling me it’s the Eagles division to lose, but I just don’t see it. I don’t buy the Cowboys hype either; they’ve got a QB from
1) Washington Redskins, Projected Record: (11-5)
I think it’s completely ridiculous to assume the Redskins offense won’t be dramatically improved in this, the second year, of Al Saunders’ offense. History backs up this assertion. When he came into
Jason Campbell is an absolute machine; he’s got a huge arm, pocket presence, and a mustache. His teammates have unanimously agreed that he’s been the hardest working player this off-season. The knee injury scare was awful, but if last night is a good indication (5/5, 54, 1TD) then he’s back at 100%. The receivers are admittedly weak, but so were
They drafted Landry (who Craig James called one of the best safeties in college football history last night) who, paired with Sean Taylor, will give the Redskins the most intimidating safety combination in the league, and picked up David Macklin, who gave Washington a hometown discount after starting for seven seasons for Indianapolis and Arizona (it’s DMack’s World, we’re just living in it). [They also picked up tackling machine London Fletcher-Baker (I hate hyphens) FROM…
I’m going to say that the Redskins not only hit their Over [7.5 wins], but they host a playoff game. Why? A lot of things. Their third-down performance on defense is going to improve, and they’ve upgraded their weaknesses with the additions of LaRon Landry, Fred Smoot (who is at least better than Mike Rumph, for sure) and London Fletcher-Baker, plus the return to health of Cornelius Griffin. On offense, while Brandon Lloyd will continue to be Brandon Lloyd, the Redskins will have had a full year to digest the Al Saunders offensive playbook, with Lewin Career Forecast favorite Jason Campbell behind center from training camp on. While we’re not sanguine on Clinton Portis’ chances of staying healthy for a full year, he’ll be able to split time with Ladell Betts. I may be a fool, but I think that I’m buying low here on an underrated team.
I can’t rationally talk about them, I’ll just sound like a homer, and there is nothing worse than reading something like that. My main concern though is not on the field, but off. I expect a minimum of ten suspensions due to the NFL’s substance abuse policy; the Eagles’ organization has been letting the inmates run the asylum. The man responsible for policing the performance enhancing drug problem, Andy Reid, is clearly not qualified. If he didn’t suspect his own son; huddled in a corner, weighing only 100lbs, pale, shaking, covered in feces, of drug use, how could he possibly be expected to recognize the expanding head or bacne of an NFL player? The Eagles are screwed.
Is there a funnier backfield tandem than Eli Manning and Brandon Jacobs? Eli Manning is a tutu wearing, cock gobbling quarterback, well known for crumbling under pressure. Brandon Jacobs is a huge, scary black man; there is no doubt that his dick has more in common with a Pringles can than my own. It’s as if they met in jail, Jacobs busted for cruelty to animals (strangling a bear) and Eli caught masturbating in public. They met, Jacobs made Manning his bitch, and they’ve been together ever since, making it all the way to the NFL.
I had a whole paragraph written about how much Tony Romo sucks, but this guy puts into words what everyone else is thinking. No matter what Romo does to try and hide it, Romo sucks and has a small penis. From commenter, “tony romo sucks balls mother fucker”:
romo is a sucky lover and he sucks balls at quarterback also he has a really small penis and has really sucky sperm and he is a fag!~!!!!!!!! his sperm sucks!!!!!his sperm sucks!!!!!his sperm sucks!!!!!his sperm sucks!!!!!his sperm sucks!!!!!his sperm sucks!!!!!his sperm sucks!!!!!his sperm sucks!!!!!his sperm sucks!!!!!