Wednesday, August 29, 2007

3 Signs The World Is Spiraling Downward

Sometimes when I read or experience certain things I think about what the future has in store for me. However, recently I have come to a conclusion that people suck. After graduating from college (which could be a few more years because the idea of being an adult blows) life is probably going to be grueling. Anyways, I've come across three embarrassing things that are accelerating the demise of the World.

Recently a New Zealand couple actually tried to name their newborn son '4Real.' They seriously tried putting an actual number in their child's name. I like to think it may be possible that they were just saving some time for their son so he wouldn't have to think of a rap alter ego, but no they tried using it because the ultrasound showed the kid squirming around and realized it was for real. This puts into question the fact that they really are a couple because it kind of sounds like they are surprised she got knocked up. Unfortunately, the government blocked the usage of '4Real' so the couple had to settle with naming their kid 'Superman.' That is fucking ridiculous. I'm pissed. Clearly not as mad as the father, Pat Wheaton who said:

“No matter what, it’s going to stay 4Real,” Wheaton told the Herald, “I’m certainly not a quitter.”

Whatever. Let's move on. Law enforcement in Tacoma, Washington is pathetic, lazy, and stereotypical. Apparently they are having large gang troubles in their transit systems so instead of using UCs or just actual cops to stop it, they are installing large speakers and playing classical music like Bach and Beethoven. They seriously are trying to drive gangs out away by playing classical music. If it really annoys the drugies that much, I think they could move to a different location. Wait... maybe if they used real officers instead of music they could catch them during their deals and put them in jail, or they could just cause drug deals to occur elsewhere. Hell yes it gets better. Apparently they aren't playing the music because classical is is the opposite spectrum of what a gang member might listen to, but its from an environmental stand point:

“It’s based on routine activity theory and situational crime prevention. You mix different types of activities in locations that are crime-ridden to change the composition of the environment,” said psychologist Jacqueline Helfgott, who chairs the Criminal Justice Department at Seattle University.

Well here's my favorite. I was doing a project where I needed a picture of the London Bridge. (By the way you can try this at home) Naturally I go to the Google image search and type it in. A picture of Fergie pops up in the 2nd row. The society is tainted. The World is declining. We need help. We need Macgyver.

OH cool I just tried that London Bridge thing again and it didn't come up. But seriously you can just take my word for it because I was pissed off and traumatized.


Buzzsaw said...

Nice throwback, the classical music thing is almost as weird as using grandmas to help end gang violence. I'm not sure where I heard that but it's happening, in California I think.

Guy said...

I just googled London Bridge and Fergie's song lyrics came up.