Monday, July 30, 2007

What You Missed While You Were Eagerly Anticipating Number 755

Alberto Contador won the Tour de France by default, as he was the only rider left who hadn’t test positive for some sort of drug.

The Cubbies continue to win with Carlos Zambrano slugging his way to victory.

Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken Jr. were inducted into the baseball Hall of Fame this weekend. Things got a little awkward during the post-induction celebration when Tony ate Cal.

Jose Canseco claims to “have something” on A-Rod and that we’ll just have to wait and see what it is. There are so many inappropriate jokes that could be made right now. My brain may explode.

The co-defendants in the Mike Vick case pled guilty, meaning its likely that they will take a plea and testify against Vick. No jokes here, Vick’s just f****d.

In some rather scary news, Knicks’ power forward Eddy Curry was robbed at gunpoint in his Chicago home. In the police report Curry listed two dozen jelly donuts and a gallon of moose tracks ice cream as the two most important missing items.

7 Comments:

Buzzsaw said...

What you might have missed while reading this article: Mark Teixeira is going to the Braves ... In his first 4 seasons in the majors, he's averaged 35Hrs and 112 RBIs, along with 2 gold gloves. He's joining a lineup that's already 5th in the NL in runs scored. He's a Georgia Tech alum, so theres a really good chance he'll want to stay with Atlanta past next year, especially since the Braves will be rid of the contracts of Andruw Jones and Mike Hampton (plus new ownership is raising payroll by 15-20 mil). I'm excited, kinda

Buzzsaw said...

Oh, and Chipper Jones will now be winning the NL MVP barring injury, I'll bet anyone on this fact, just give me a call. The new Braves lineup should look a little something like this: Kelly Johnson/Yunel Escobar, Edgar Renteria, Chipper Jones, Mark Teixeira, Andruw Jones, Jeff Francoeur, Brian McCann, and Matt Diaz/Fast Willie Harris ... I'm freaking out

BigLots said...

Log, I think you meant to say that the defendants plead guilty.

Guy said...

I can't believe Canseco would shamelessly plug his new book like that. Oh, wait, yeah I can.

Logan said...

thanks BigLots, maybe we can hire you as an editor when you get fired as a contributor

BigLots said...

My computer completely crapped out on me and maybe if I can figure out a way to understand a word the people at Dell are saying then I might be able to start contributing again.

Guy said...

That's fine BigLots. Just blame the terrorists. Cop out.