Right now, you’re saying “what the fuck is this guy talking about? The Browns are horrible.” And yes, you are right. But let’s take a look at some correlating history that proves that the Browns will have a successful season. And I’m not trying to connect Brady Quinn’s crotch-grabbing with Rex Grossman’s odd fetishes.
Some ridiculous friends of mine and I have pretty much started calling this theory the “You Just Gotta Feel Bad” Theory. A short look at the history:
The 2001-2002 Season-- The
We all know the horrifying story of 9/11. There is no need for me to dwell on that. The fact of the matter is a team named the Patriots (who went 5-11 in the season before this one, mind you) went on to win the Super Bowl just five months after one of the worst days in
The 2006-2007 Season-- The
I touched on this in my fantasy football team name suggestions article. The effects of Katrina propelled the city to rally behind the Saints. And it was really great for both the NFL and the city that was in shambles, don’t get me wrong. Warrick Dunn even told the press something to the effect of; if he is going to lose, it may as well be to the Saints. You really think there wasn’t a lack of killer instinct there? Dunn was probably too busy thinking about the fact that the only thing that will fit in his mouth are grapes (compliments to Daris for that one-- I think he finds the small size of Dunn’s mouth more ridiculous than I do). I’m just saying, everyone had to feel kinda bad. I mean, you’ve got to.
This seasons’ candidates:
The Runner-Up-- The
Tough offseason for Shanahan’s boys out west. Darrent Williams was shot and killed on New Years in a drive-by. A really awful story. Javon Walker was there for the whole thing-- I can’t even imagine. I am in no way poking fun at this death; I’m just saying it’s a reason for other teams to “just feel bad.” Past results, as shown above, actually back up this sort of ridiculous claim. Don’t worry; I’ll go to church this Sunday.
The Winner-- The
It’s hard to think up a reason to feel bad for the Browns, besides the popular jokes “well, they have to live in
The main reason that you just gotta feel bad? Take a look at the Browns' logo: the Dawg. The Dawg Pound! You think other teams won’t see the correlation here and just feel bad for the Dawg lovers at Cleveland Browns Stadium? It may be for the wrong reasons, but so was feelin’ bad for the Pats in ’01-’02. The Falcons are lucky they aren’t coming to
Here’s to a 12-4 season and a Super Bowl loss. Hey, all the other