Wednesday, August 1, 2007

The Crap Your Pants Diet

Drug company GlaxoSmithKline has created the first over the counter weight loss pill (called Alli) and it’s creating quite a stir. Why? Well, because it makes you shit yourself. Seriously. The manufacturer has been up front about the potential side effect, yet it still seems to be selling well. It seems if you intake more than the recommended amount of fat there can be some uncontrollable side effects.

“I’ve pooped my pants 3 times today, and sorry to get descriptive but it even leaked onto the couch at one point!” writes one user.

Another user writes:, “Ya know how when you start moving around in the morning you pass a little gas. Well, I did and then went into the bathroom and to my horror I had an orange river of grease running down my leg.”

There have even been stories of people running to the bathroom at work with poop running down their leg. Eww. That’s just sick.

But it really is a novel idea. If the thought of shitting yourself in public isn’t enough to make you eat healthier then I don’t see what is.

Diet Pill's Icky Side Effects Keep Users Honest


Guy said...

Maybe "sharting" is an indicator of good health after all.

Daris said...

my favorite article thus far.

Buzzsaw said...

That's clearly your go-to toilet picture. Do you have it bookmarked?

Buzzsaw said...

In Braves news today, Teixeira hit a HR in his first game as a Brave, I'm sure you'll hear plenty about that on sportscenter, 4RBIs 2Runs .. Brave laying wood in his first game ... 11-3 right now, I'm unbelievably happy.

In Redskins news, LaRon Landry signed his contract. The contract has more guaranteed money than any safety has recieved ever. Kind of weird, especially since Polamalu just resigned. No matter how much of a crazy-ass Troy is, it would be a treat to meet him in a dark alley rather than LaRon:

Buzzsaw said...

Damn it, how do you put motherfucking links in these motherfucking comments ... here's the link split in half, I promise it's worth it, I swear.

Matt Jenks said...

I'm wondering...

I had my gall bladder removed last October. If I eat a meal that's too greasy, in about twenty minutes I'm on the toilet commiting acts of environmental terrorism.

What happens if I take Alli, too?

I'm thinking I'd have to invest in that recliner Homer Simpson invented when he was trying to catch up with Thomas Edison. Mmmmm...continuous flow of raw sewage out my rectum...*drool*