What's the Difference Between Moss and TO?

Randy Moss must have a damn good public relations team behind him because, for some reason, everyone loves him … even ESPN. Sure, maybe they didn’t think of the whole fake suicide move, but you can’t blame them, you’ve just got to respect TO’s people for their forward thinking. Nothing says “love me” like twenty pills and a pumped stomach. But, how can this guy be loved and respected when his past begs that you hate him? I don’t have an answer, so I’ll just continue bitching about this.

What’s the difference between Randy Moss and TO? Terrell Owens is a mix between Chad Johnson and Randy Moss, he possesses both their virtues and their vices. Owens gets killed in the media for “showing up his team;” from his endzone dances in Philadelphia to his Tour de France outfit in his Cowboys’ preseason debut … he doesn’t care about his team, only himself. That’s unlike Chad Johnson whose antics Chris Berman and Terry Bradshaw can’t wait to talk about. He just loves having a great time.

Terrell Owens is a team cancer, he can’t keep his mouth shut about McNabb’s Super Bowl performance or Jeff Garcia’s sexuality. Well, you know what TO was doing in the Super Bowl while McNabb was throwing up? He was catching 9 passes for 122 yards on a broken ankle. Do you know what he did afterwards? He had heterosexual relations.

Randy Moss doesn’t bitch in the media about his teammates, he just quits on them … it’s easier. One week in 1998 against the Redskins, Moss walked off the field as his team was still playing, times were hard and he quit. The week later he mooned Green Bay fans after a touchdown, not to get all Joe Buck on you, but you can learn a lot about Moss from those two weeks. One week he’s too embarrassed of his team to stay on the field, the next week, when things are going well, Moss wants all the attention on him. He was so upset about being in Minnesota that he insisted on being traded, so he went to the Raiders. His first year there went pretty well, over 1000 yards receiving, despite being injured. However, last year, the Raiders were the worst team in the league, and Moss had his worst season ever. He missed five games, his most ever, and when he was on the field he was a mediocre receiver, only having one game over 1000 yards. People thought he was over-the-hill, which would be fine, everyone gets worse with age, but clearly that wasn’t the case. His teammates were accusing him of not trying, but Moss explained the situation:

Maybe because I'm unhappy and I'm not too much excited about what's going on, so, my concentration and focus level tend to go down sometimes when I'm in a bad mood.

I’m a little confused, what do you actually mean Randy? “I play when I want to play.” Thanks for clearing that up.

Moss has miraculously returned to being one of the best receivers in the league. Didn’t Vince Carter quit trying for the Raptors when he wanted to be traded, becoming the most hated person in Canada and the target of criticism from everyone? Why doesn’t Moss get that? You can’t argue the fact that, no matter what, TO is ready to come Sundays (and some Mondays and Thursdays).

Why has TO been cast off as the worst teammate/person in the league when he hasn’t ever had trouble with the law? Ray Lewis fucking killed a guy, but he’s the best teammate ever; apparently he makes people better when he isn’t killing them. Pacman Jones is a hopeless gangster, who bites strippers and doesn’t stop his friends from shooting people; he’s the (second) worst person ever. He’s wrestling? How disrespectful can he get? Who does think he is trying to support his family show up the league. Moss has also had some dealings with police, he’s been arrested for possession of marijuana and, more interestingly, for trying to run over a traffic officer when he was being pulled over. “Hey, that’s just Randy being Randy.”

So, in summary, Moss is a “clubhouse cancer,” quits on his teammates, and has been in trouble with the law. Yet, though he can only be accused of one of those things, TO is universally hated while Randy Moss is being praised for his comeback. I think it’s because Owens has been discontent on all of his teams, good or bad, so it’s more obvious. When Owens is being a distraction on a Super Bowl team, it’s an atrocity, but Moss being a problem or not trying didn’t matter because it was on the worst team in the league and now he’s back. I understand why that would make Owens’ look bad, but it doesn’t explain why Moss is getting praised and is generally beloved in the country. I just don’t understand it; this whole thing would make a lot more sense if Randy was white.

(please no “straight cash homey” references in the comments … thanks)

Randy Moss Announces His Return in a Big Way

After a two year hiatus from professional football Randy Moss is back and he means business. The Patriot's biggest offseason signing had this to say after catching nine passes for 183 yards and a TD, "It just feels good to be out there on the field trying to win football games. I took two years off to do my own thing but I'm just glad I'm back now."

Welcome back Randy, welcome back.

When You’re Rich, You Don’t Write Checks

Not many times are you sitting around watching ESPN and something comes along and absolutely baffles you. This world is so crazy nowadays that nothing is a shock. You see Rashard Lewis signing for $126 million and you don’t bat an eyelash. Clinton Portis is telling reporters that he knows back roads to dog fights? Not a big deal, either. Oh, Pacman or Chris Henry got in trouble again? It would be bigger news if they weren’t a headline for over a month. But every once in awhile, something comes along that you can’t even muster up words to respond to it. You’re sitting there, speechless, after what you just saw or heard. For me, these moments usually involve a man named Randy Moss; and I’m not talking about the horseracing expert.

Let’s take this time to analyze some of his past quotes.

-1997, Sports Illustrated. An article about Randy takes a turn for the worse, in which he ends up saying that the 1970 Marshall plane crash “was a tragedy, but it really wasn’t nothing big.” How is this one never brought up? If Matt McConaughey is making a movie about it, it’s a big deal.

-Sometime in 2001. This one is basically a household quote. Admitting to taking plays off, Moss was quoted saying “When I want to play, I’ll play.” I think Cris Carter was still around for that one. Imagine being him-- the guy that mentored Randy Moss. I can’t imagine being proud of myself.

-January 2, 2005, game vs. Washington Redskins. Moss is criticized for leaving the game with two ticks left on the clock down 21-18, with the Vikings still to kick off. It isn’t a quote, but when asked afterwards about it, Moss said that he didn’t think they were going to get the onside kick. For what its worth, Randy’s read on the situation was correct. The Redskins recovered and went on to win the game. This apparent bad attitude led to something else just one week later…

-January 9, 2005, game vs. Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field. You know where this one is going. After Moss’s second touchdown of the game, he walked over to the goalpost, faced away from the crowd, and proceeded to moon them (pants up, as we all know, but are kind of disappointed about). This turn of events led us to the greatest Randy Moss quotes known to man:

Reporter: "Write the check yet, Randy?"
Moss: "When you're rich you don't write checks."
Reporter: "If you don't write checks, how do you pay these guys?"
Moss: "Straight cash, homey."
Reporter: "Randy, are you upset about the fine?"
Moss: "No, cause it ain't shit. Ain't nothing but 10 grand. What's 10 grand to me? Ain't shit to me … Next time I might shake my dick."

A defining moment in sports history, to say the least. And we’re not even done

-August 18, 2005, interview with Bryant Gumbel. Somehow, they get on the topic of using drugs. Shocking everyone in the process, here is Moss’s quote: "Like I say ... I have used (marijuana) in the past. And every blue moon or every once in a while, I might. ... But as far as abusing it and, you know, letting it take control over me, I don't do that, no." Asked whether he still smokes marijuana, Moss said, "I might. I might have fun. And, you know, hopefully ... I won't get into any trouble with the NFL by saying that, you know? I have had fun throughout my years and, you know, predominantly in the offseason." I say he deserves it. That’s just a rough life.

A few other random quotes to add in here.

• "The way I look at it," Moss said, "God's got a magic wand, and he taps just a few on the head."

• At Marshall, he was a business major who didn't take academics too seriously. "College is boring," he said. "It was all about not having fun and going to class once in a while."

• "It's not my fault that people don't know me," he said, defending himself. "I'm going to speak my mind, no matter what the consequences are."

Yes, Randy, we have come to both learn and appreciate that last one. Here’s to a season of Randy Moss in the press with the Patriots. We can only hope he goes on a tirade about Tom Brady and his illegitimate children or Bill Bellichick and his steamy affairs. Like all of his stints before this one, it could end badly. And the Patriots know it. Imagine Moss quitting on a route on a 3^rd down. Bellichick will absolutely kill him. But that just goes to show how much talent this guy has—even the New England Patriots and Bill Bellichick (the biggest psycho coach to ever grace the sidelines) are willing to possibly sacrifice their team concept in order to put this 6’4, 210 pound freak of nature with baggage on their team to put them over the hump.

Someone can do the same with TO. I refuse. It would piss me off too much.

It’s kind of late. Good night.

(EDIT: Here is the youtube video link of the Randy Moss interview after the mooning incident. Also some pretty good highlights of his Viking days beforehand.)