Wednesday, October 3, 2007

The long awaited update to The Contest

I'm back. I never really went anywhere I guess but now I've decided to finally get off of my ass and update the contest. I got a little bored with it because I've been dominating so thoroughly. You know that feeling when you're just a little too good at something? It gets tiresome. When I'm not challenged I lose interest. It's just human nature.

Okay, I'm glad I got that out of my system. Truthfully, I only wrote that last paragraph to piss off Buzzsaw. It just so happens that pissing off Buzzsaw is one of the few things in the world that I'm better at than this contest. Actually, as you can see Guy is pretty close to me and could even pass me this weekend if I slip up. Even though it's early, it looks like Buzzsaw and Sammich are going to be battling it out to avoid funneling a beer up their ass.

Standings

BigLots 18-7

Guy 14-11

Sammich 9-15-1

Buzzsaw 6-16-3


In completely unrelated news, the Diamondbacks and the Cubs are just now starting their series. I think it's well documented where my allegiance stands in this match-up. While in the middle of writing this award winning article I happened to catch the starting lineup of the Diamondbacks:


Chris Young
Stephen Drew
Eric Byrnes
Tony Clark
Mark Reynolds
Jeff Salazar
Chris Snyder
Augie Ojeda
Brandon Webb


Jesus Christ that is awful. That team had the best record in the National League, are you kidding me? I knew the D'backs weren't exactly a dominant team but I had no idea it was this bad. I'm relying on Augie Ojeda and Jeff Salazar to deliver me from my own personal hell which would be the Cubs advancing in the playoffs? This is just awful news. I'm extremely bitter right now. I'm just gonna console myself by staring at The Contest standings for a couple minutes.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Contest Update


After an exciting weekend of gambling, it's time to update the contest standings. I expect everyone to have already read our picks but if you're new to the blog, here they are. If anyone out there decided to just bet my picks then I'll go ahead and say you're welcome for this week but I would advise against doing it in the future. Although I love gambling, I suck at it.

The Contest

BigLots 9-1
Sammich 5-5
Guy 5-5
Buzzsaw 2-7-1


Worst Pick of the Week: It probably should be my ill-advised Louisville bet but since that's my only loss I refuse to take the worst pick. Instead I'll go with Buzzsaw's selection of Miami to cover +10.5 against Oklahoma. The final score ended up being 51-13 in Oklahoma's favor.

Beat of the Week: Buzzsaw again gets this honor with his Texas-TCU over. The line was 44.5 and the score going into the fourth quarter was 10-10. However, 27 fourth quarter points later and he lost by 2.5 points.

Monday, September 3, 2007

The Contest Update


As our faithful readers already know, we will be having an ongoing competition during the year in which all the contributors minus Logan will attempt to succesffuly predict college football and NFL games. One thing you have to remember is that we are picking against the spread, not straight up winners. For those of you who don't gamble, this is pretty difficult and anyone who comes out above .500 has done pretty well. Forget successfully predicting all five games. That's pretty much impossible. You would have to be a complete badass to do something like that, so don't expect it.

I was planning on doing a "Beat of the Week" in which I pointed out who suffered the worst loss but no one really had any unlucky losses. Therefore, I'll use this space to point out how bad Buzzsaw's "Game of the Week" was. He told us to take the over in The Miami-Ball St. game and the line was set at 53. The final score was 14-13. Needless to say, I won't be following his lead this week.

Anyways, let's take a look at the standings after week one.

The Contest


W L
BigLots 5 0
Guy 3 2
Sammich 2 3
Buzzsaw 1 4


To sum it up, I'm pretty awesome.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

59 Year Old Makes College Football Team

People make a lot of ridiculous decisions when they are drunk, and I’ve found one that takes the cake. Supposedly, Mike Flynt, a 59 year old man, made a spontaneous decision to make a college football comeback while drinkin’ beer and swapping “old college war stories” one night in Alpine, Texas. He was kicked off his college football team before his senior year (37 years ago), and has decided to do something about it after one of his old, drunken friends said something along the lines of “Why don’t you do something about it, chicken?” The friend then said, “Caw, ca caw, ca caw” as he fluttered his arms around, and mimicked a chicken. (AD rest in peace)

Flynt, obviously taking the joke way too seriously, found out that he had one more year of eligibility remaining, and yesterday he made the roster of the Division III Sul Ross State. He’s a grandfather. He hasn’t played football in 37 years, and is actually 8 years older than the coach.

Jerry Lernad, the coach who kicked him off the team 37 years ago said this:

"I told him he's an idiot. Gosh, dang, Mike, you're not 20 years old any more. You're liable to cripple yourself.' He understands all of that. But he has a burning desire to play. ... He is in great physical condition. He still runs a 5-flat 40 and bench presses I-don't-know-what. He's a specimen for 59 years old."

So basically, the coach still thinks he’s a cocky son of a bitch, and wants to see the old man get seriously injured. I doubt that any 59 year old man can run a 5 flat 40. Come on, it’s gotta take “Old Bones” a little longer to get the motor running. What position he will play is still up in the air, but he was a linebacker so expect to see him getting ran over from time to time. When he takes the field on Sept 1st, he will most likely be the oldest man ever to play college football. Reaseachers haven’t found anyone over 45 years old.

He was originally kicked off the team many years ago for fighting too much. I think he might run into a similar problem this year while showering. Can you think of anything worse than seeing a set of old, wrinkly balls right after exhausting yourself on a football field? That should be enough to start a couple shower brawls. God, I wish I could have been a fly on the wall the night he made his decision. Watching a drunk, old man make a decision that could potentially get himself killed brings a smile to my face. I hope there are “Cool Zones” in Hell.

Clausen

This story was written over a week ago. I don't feel like finding the sources from the Tribune.If you want them, I'll get them.

So, when the Irish take the field against Georgia Tech on September 1st, a couple of things are going to be up in the air:
1. My 2.5 month sobriety streak
2. The quarterback situation at Notre Dame

Sorry, the sobriety thing is a little too personal I guess, but I like to let my reader's know that, yes, even I struggle with certain vices. I'm more like "the normal, every day peasants" than you think. Getting to the point, I've taken great interest in this quarterback situation for two reasons. First, I love Notre Dame football; there I said it. I've always been critical of the program and some of the decision making, but that’s what happens when you grow up 10 minutes from the campus. I want the Irish to exceed their very low expectations this year, and I think they have a decent chance of doing it if their young players can step up. Charlie Weis is an easy target, I know, but he is a damn good football coach. I've been quick to call him out when he's gotten to cocky over the last couple years and let his ego negatively affect his in game decision making. If you don't think Charlie's been guilty of that, watch some of the USC game out in LA last year. He and Pete Carroll were in a "I've got a bigger dick and have more power than you" match for the entire first half of the game. You'd think Pete would have learned his lesson after that national title game against Texas, but that’s for another column.

Saying all that, Charlie’s done wonders for the program with mid-level talent. Trust me; Charlie is good for Notre Dame if only because he's been able to shut up the media and Notre Dame fans in South Bend. Literally, no one gets attacked more than a Notre Dame football coach after a loss. Trying to explain how insane it is really isn't even worth my time. Even Indiana University, with our beloved Hoosiers basketball, isn’t as bad. My alma mater was calling for Mike Davis' head two years after he led them to the national championship game, but it wasn't quite the same as what you see in South Bend.

Guys like Holtz, Davies, and Willingham had to keep winning. Their first let down, and they were gone. Patience isn't a virtue over at Notre Dame, its a sin. Winning is not an option, it is a priority. So, what Weis has done should be applauded. He controls the South Bend media now. Nothing he does is second guessed, and I dare say that a .500% season wouldn't mean blood for those sharks over at the Tribune, and WNDU. I think that suggests Charlie is doing something right. How he keeps the soberly challenged Jeff Jeffers at bay is beyond me. Jeffers hard hitting questions are enough to floor even the strongest (or fattest) of men. If you're asking yourself whether or not I'm being sarcastic with the Jeffer's comment, I'm smarter than you.

So, ya I love the Irish, and am intrigued about this quarterback situation for that reason. More importantly though, I am intrigued because I'm competitive and enjoy when people have to say " you were right, I was wrong, you win, you're better than me......and a lot funnier" Along time ago, Logan revealed that Clausen had "a minor procedure" done on his throwing elbow. People over at Irish Eyes were up in arms. How could this shitty little blog know this information before national sports media? Everyone thought we had to be a bunch of full of shit losers from South Bend, who were just trying to create a little stir. I was even attacked, on a personal level, for defending Logan's story. The next day, ESPN had it up as a top story on their website. We were linked on Deadspin, with the help of Wizard of Odds, and our blog counter nearly exploded. The first comment under our link on Wizard of Odds blog was from a guy named Penn State Football, who runs a discussion board on Yahoo!. He said :"What the freak is "Log's Blog"? Come on, Wiz, what kind of source is that? Even if this ultimately turns out to be true, linking to that blog is weak." Now, I don't feel the need to comment too much on this ridiculous quote, but notice the part that says "even if this ultimately turns out to be true", and form your own opinion.

The next comment on the blog read, "Not true. This has been verified with the coaching staff." Man, I bet this guy wishes his computer would have stopped working for 24 hours, so that it could have been confirmed by the mighty ESPN. Stop posting anonymously people, it takes the fun out of my blog war victories. I like to know the opponents I'm destroying.

So, like I said, I want to give these guys an "I told ya so." Yes Clausen did have elbow surgery. I still believe Clausen won't see a snap this year; nor do I think he should. The South Bend Tribune, a couple days ago, reported that Clausen was the only quarterback not throwing any pass over 15 yards, and today Charlie came out saying that he's going to keep the starter quarterback "a secret", so that Georgia Tech can't prepare for the Irish attack. First, that’s bullshit. Charlie hasn’t named a starter because he doesn’t know who in the hell it’s going to be. Jimmy Clausen is the best QB prospect of the last decade, so to suggest he wouldn’t be the #1 with ND’s current qb situation is absurd. After Quinn’s departure, the quarterback position was literally up for grabs. Clausen arrived in South Bend in a strech Hummer Limo, which dropped him off at the College Football Hall of Fame.

Side Note: Just real quick, imagine Clausen arriving at SBI, getting into the limo, and telling the driver “Away to the College Football Hall of Fame we go.” To which a confused South Bend limo driver, who’s lived in the city for 15 years, says “What’s that?”

Suffice to say, Clausen arrived in South Bend as the “next coming”. He was “ready for the NFL” as a junior in High School. He was enrolled at ND during last years spring semester to get acclimated with the school, start weight training, participate in spring practice, and be spoon fed by Big Charlie.Sharpley, Jones, or Clausen? I don’t think that’s even a question if Clausen wasn’t still a question mark himself. . I hope he does play, but I think the coaching staff and Clausen’s camp are seriously considering their options. Does he want to risk future injury or make sure he’s completely healed? Is Weis willing to risk ND’s future on a year where everyone knows the team’s parts aren’t good enough to win a national championship?”

Ultimately, I believe Clausen redshirts this year, and if he doesn’t , I think it’s a shame. From all reports, it seems like he needs to take a year off to heal properly.

A friend, who’s close to Notre Dame’s program, said this about Clausen after I asked him whether or not Clausen plays this year.

“I think he will start on Sep 1st. and will never sit a game in his college career. If the injury is being somewhat hidden, then that is a different story, but baring injury, regardless of who the "best & most-ready" quarterback is. Clausen starts & never sits again even if he’s only 90% for multiple reasons.

#1) and most obvious; is the hype. {He} might as well be getting paid by ND... too much pressure from the powers that be to get him in there. Do I think its right or he should? No. But do I think he will? Yes.”

This quote sums up the attitude and atmosphere at ND. My bud basically suggests that Clausen will play, even if he’s only 90% healed. So, I guess my point is this: Logan broke the story about Clausen’s procedure and it was ultimately proven true. Now, people say our site is going to lose credibility because Clausen might not sit out this year as our source suggested?

How does this mean we are less credible? Our source said Clausen had surgery, and he did. Remember, that is the most important part of the article, as its something that had already happened. If Logan wanted to protect his own ass, he could have left the story right there. However, his source also suggested that Clausen would be out the entire year because of it. He knew that the source was reliable and wouldn’t make up some “phantom surgery”, so why would he suspect that his statement about Clausen’s status would be any less legitimate? I mean at that time, the game plan moving forward was to red shirt Clausen, and I still think that’s ultimately going to happen.

As the season approaches, we still haven’t heard a definite answer on Clausen, and many of Charlie’s answers and some reports from inside practice smell funny. Clausen’s season is definitely in question, and I think he only plays for the reasons mentioned in the above quote: pressure from the powers that be. The pressure to win at ND is very intense, and Clausen might be sent out there even if he shouldn’t be. I don’t think our story losses any credibility if Clausen does suit up. We can’t be expected to predict the future, we can only report on what’s happened, and use legitimate sources to suggest what, at that time, was ND’s plan moving forward. When the news came out about Clausen’ surgery, everything indicated he was going to miss the year. Of course Charlie wasn’t going to come out and say Clausen might not play this year, it would have only meant unnecessary media attention. From a journalistic perspective I hope it turns out to be true, but if not I’m sorry. As a fan of the team, I hope we have to eat our words.

Either way, I stand by the story.