Sunday, June 3, 2007

I Don't Give a Shit if You Don't Care About Red Sox-Yankees

Just thought I would share a few thoughts while I watched the game tonight. These games aren't on TV very often so you really have to take advantage of opportunities like this.

  • Josh Beckett is wearing a mock turtleneck under his jersey. Very nice look for him. Kevin Youkilis is wearing a dead Chia pet on his chin. Not quite as nice.
  • Andy Pettitte is starting tonight for the Yankees. In a related note, Roger Clemens says he can't wait to rejoin the team with his best friend and favorite pitcher. Or is Clemens the pitcher and Pettitte the catcher? I can't remember.
  • I switched over to the MTV Movie Awards during a commercial to see Will Ferrell and Sasha Baron Cohen making out. On top of each other. This was very disturbing.
  • They just showed a shot of Manny in left field with a very concerned look on his face. Odds on what he was thinking about are as follows:
    • 100:1 Anything related to baseball.
    • 10:1 Literally nothing.
    • 3:1 "Where did I leave my water bong?"
  • Here's why ESPN sucks. They have Peter Gammons, probably the smartest baseball man on the planet, sitting next to the dugout and he gets to talk about five times during the entire game. Meanwhile we are forced to listen to Jon Miller and Joe Morgan constantly. Seriously, why?
  • Johnny Damon is playing DH again tonight because his body is literally falling apart. The Red Sox couldn't hvae been smarter in choosing not to sign him. Just like Pedro, except I don't hate Pedro and he doesn't throw like a girl.
  • Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I was able to pinch run in a MLB game and try to steal a base. I was quick enough when I played soccer, and most baseball players aren't in that good shape, right? Every time I convince myself that I could swipe a base I see something like Andy Pettitte's pickoff move and I am forced to assume that I am kidding myself. Then I watch any game that involves Victor Martinez catching and I reverse my position again.
  • So far this game has been really, really boring. Partly because nothing has happened and partly because Joe Morgan and Jon Miller have talked about how "A-Rod is a celebrity because he has paparazzi" for two of the four innings.
  • Theo Epstein is definitely on my top five list of people I would most like to trade places with. Also making the cut: Dave Matthews, Steven Gerrard, McGowan, and the guy who applies the body paint to the SI Swimsuit models.
  • The difference between the Red Sox and the Yankees right now? The Red Sox players look like they can tolerate each other and somewhat enjoy playing baseball. The Yankees players look like they may pull a Carlos Zambrano on the face of the next reporter who asks them anything regarding A-Rod.
  • After switching back to the MTV Movie Awards I've concluded that Cameron Diaz is REALLY HOT
  • Speaking of hot, Jonathan Papelbon is warming up.
  • If anyone is still reading this right now, let me know and I'll give you five dollars.
  • Okajima blows the save and Papelbon gives up the go-ahead run in the ninth. What the fuck? Ortiz leads off the bottom of the ninth and he's due. We'll see what happens, but I'm done typing. I'm about as pissed as you can be with an 11 1/2 game lead.


Buzzsaw said...

YES!!! More Yankees/Red Sox coverage!!!

Medicine said...

Every time I convince myself that I could swipe a base I see something like Andy Pettitte's pickoff move and I am forced to assume that I am kidding myself.