Friday, August 10, 2007

Old, Wrinkly People say “We Got Next”

Admittedly, this story is a month old. I can’t believe I missed The '07 Summer Senior Olympics as they were being held right under my nose here in Louisville. You would think the smell of gold bond, moth balls, and adult diaper change stations would have activated my dog like sense of smell. Thank you Louisville Courier Journal.

The ‘08 Summer Olympics in China will kickoff less than a year from now, but to be honest, I’m more excited about the ‘09 Senior Olympic Games which will be held in Stanford, CA. The ‘o7 Senior Games produced unspeakable drama, stories of dedication, and 16 days of ridiculous quotes that only old people can produce. 16,000 seniors invaded the city of Louisville, riding into town on RV’s, Cadillacs, motor scooters. All of the seniors, who didn’t “expire”, left with feelings of accomplishment and pride after 16 days of boring and sometimes disgusting competition. You think talking to your grandma on the phone is bad? Well, try watching 10 85+ year olds playing volleyball for an hour. What’s your gag reflex like? I’ve only seen a few pictures, but they didn’t look pretty.


Unspeakable Drama:
93 Year Old Women wins 7 Medals in 07

Going into yesterday's mixed doubles bowling, Lillian Webb of Sebring, Fla., was already loaded down with hardware -- five gold medals in track and field and another in bowling. Her feats included a record-setting 100-meter dash of 31.3 seconds for her age group. (Her age being 93.) There weren't any male bowlers in her age group, so she paired with a younger man, Harry Jackman, also a Floridian. They won the silver medal.

So, after bowling three games yesterday, she said, "Now I am really tired."

So, I’m supposed to be impressed by a record I could beat by around 22 seconds? Please.

Stories of Dedication:
Shuffleboard Comeback

Roy Armstrong and his wife, Joyce, of Water Valley, Ky., trailed 95-80 in the championship match. Joyce lined up for the final shot. She scored seven points for her side and bumped their opponents' disc from its resting place, costing them 10 points. That 17-point turnaround gave the Armstrongs an 87-85 victory.
Their home lies between Fulton and Mayfield. So, is it easy to find a place to play shuffleboard in Water Valley?

"It's impossible," Roy said. "We have to go to Martin, Tenn. -- 20 miles."

20 Miles for an old person could take upwards of 2-3 hours! Now, that’s dedication.

Is 7th Place Worth It?

How many athletes are so determined to compete that they will stay in a homeless shelter? That's what Robert Buesse of Battle Creek, Mich., did two years ago when the Games were held in Pittsburgh. He couldn't afford lodging, so he slept in a homeless shelter the week he competed in horseshoes. He said it was the only time he ever stayed in a shelter.

"The whole house was rooting for me," said Buesse, 62. "When I came back with a seventh-place ribbon, they said, 'Way to go.' "

Wow, I don’t mean to sound too critical but with that story's build up I at least expected a top three finish. You didn’t leave with a medal old man? Why were people telling him he did a good job? I’m not dishing out compliments to any senior citizen I know for a 7th place finish.

The Two most ridiculous Quotes from 16 Days of old people blabber:

Philip Godfrey, president of the National Senior Games Association, which has held these Games 20 years said.

"I know and I believe in my heart that we've taken it to a new level in 2007.”

97-year-old Leona Boehme’s response to the question “Do you feel like an athlete?”

"No"

At least one of the old timers is still with it. Louisville has placed a bid for the 2015 Senior Olympic Games. I am considering joining a committee to promote my great city. Many local Elder Law attorneys and I are interested in seeing a fresh, new batch of oldies roll into the city; however slowly that might be. I hope they start putting together some extreme Senior Olympic Games. Mobile Scooters flying off ramps. What could be better?

5 Comments:

Buzzsaw said...

Lillian Webb is the modern day Michael Phelps

Buzzsaw said...

I'm having a great morning btw, I just got my DVR installed in my apartment and I'm getting every channel for free for some reason. This could be the best year ever, or they could realize their mistake; I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Guy said...

Was Jesse Orosco there?

Daris said...

jesse finshed second to lillian in the 100meter race

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