Thursday, August 9, 2007

Pacman thinks Pacman has only been arrested twice

Pacman’s word:

"Everybody keeps saying I've been arrested six times," Jones said. "I haven't been arrested six times. I've only been arrested twice. I've been accused and people have put warrants out on me numerous other times, but as of today I'm on no probation, I haven't been charged with anything, so I'm just keeping my head up and make sure I'm doing everything to make sure I'm all right with myself."

Cute. The best part of the article is after they explain Pacman’s take, they go on to cite his last arrest as his sixth. Then they go on to use the phrase “Besides his six arrests.” Come on, Associated Press, don’t sugarcoat and dance around the facts. Tell it like it is—Pacman is simply incorrect.

Also, what a model citizen. To be able to claim that you’ve only been arrested twice in this day and age is quite the accomplishment.

Anyway, I’ve been wasting some time by coming up with some hypothetical claims that would rival this understatement/fallacy:

  • Phil Mickelson saying “my breasts are only about a B-cup.”

  • Rick Ankiel saying “I’ve only been designated for assignment, like, once."

  • Tom Brady and Shawn Kemp agreeing that they both “have only legitimate children.”

  • Neifi Perez claiming “I am a victim of the system”—oh, wait.

  • Fred Taylor claiming “my hamstring has only bothered me this one time.”

  • Shaq admitting “Okay, so I starred in one bad movie.”

  • Brett Favre asking “remember that one time that I tossed around the idea of retiring?”

Feel free to add other mockeries to the comments. I really hate to write about Pacman again, but the guy just keeps supplying our kind with material. It’s like being a salesman for a Lamborghini; the car sells itself.


Daris said...

rebeca lobo saying "i only have female reproductive organs"

chris benoit (from heaven) saying "I only killed 1.5 people really."

How warm do you think hell is going to be when I get there? with this trend toward global warming, I am very, very worreid.

Guy said...

That's just wrong.

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