Saturday, August 11, 2007

Bobby Cox: Roid Raging?


In this age of steroids, many milestones have been achieved; Palmeiro’s 3,000th hit and Sosa’s 600th home run, and records have been broken; Bond’s recent 756th home run, but one record has yet to be tainted. Bobby Cox is currently tied with John McGraw for the all-time lead in ejections at 131. A feat like that takes longevity, strength, and extreme anger, each happens to be an effect of the use of anabolic steroids. So it’s time for us to stop, squat, and taint this seemingly legitimate record.

The links between Cox and steroids are unavoidable; let’s start with his body transformation. Cox entered the league at a slender, 180 lb third baseman. Clearly, those ‘slender’ days are gone. There are no firm numbers available, but from my eye, honed at numerous state/county fair booths, I’d say he’s pushing 275 right now. That’s even more extreme than Bonds’ transformation.

Cox’s connection to Bonds does not end at their weight gain; Yahoo’s Jeff Passan notes another similarity:

He and Bonds share that continued greatness, and much more, too. Eight years ago, when asked by the Contra Costa Times how he hit a fastball so well, Bonds answered: "Reaction."
Earlier this week, asked to explain what caused so many of his ejections, Cox said: "It's all reaction."

BOOM!!! GOTCHA BITCH

Now that we’ve established, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Bobby’s been using we can establish the juice’s benefit to him. Along with longevity and brute strength, steroid use also causes an inhuman rage. The effects of roid rage have been well documented in recent weeks. Luckily for the Braves, Cox has avoided his inevitable double murder suicide, but he has had his own domestic violence issues. Universal man code notes a huge difference between slapping a ho and strangling a ho, sadly, Cox chose the later which is a clear sign of the presence of a banned substance. Throughout history, drugs have been made to increase anger and increase the likelihood of violence, verbal or otherwise. It all began with the Vikings and the mind altering drugs they’d take before battle; a modern day example would be alcohol, I almost got in a fight due to alcohol just this weekend. Alcohol, however, is legal but detectable on the breath; Cox had to turn to another drug with more subtle warning signs.

Basically, Bobby Cox has gotten a free ride for too long and it’s time that his record be put into perspective. It’s sad, but, in this era of steroids, every achievement must be scrutinized. One must ask not how many ejections Cox has received, but how many injections it took to get him there.

Yahoo!

NY Times

10 Comments:

Guy said...

Unbelievable connections. That son of a bitch, disgracing the game like that.

sammich said...

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Daris said...

sammich of course their is. you're letting the devil invade your soul everytime you read this blog.
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Go with fleeting entertainment. See you in hell.

Side Note: Do you have to work in hell?

Daris said...

there

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