Monday, August 6, 2007

Be Scared Brandon Inge, Be Very Scared

I checked out Curtis Granderson's blog on the other day (I don't know why, I guess it was because Buster hadn't had a blog post in two days and I was freaking out) and was pleasantly surprised to find this story. Granderson tells how while the Tigers were on their last road trip Brandon Inge broke into the blogger's room, flipped all his furniture and turned on the shower and bathroom light so he would think there was someone in his room.

While this in and of itself is not really that funny (a halfway decent prank I suppose), what Granderson has decided to do about it is rather humorous. He is asking his readers to come up with pranks to get Inge back. Some of my favorites, straight from the comments section:

  • Put Nair in his shampoo bottle.
  • "Any thing that involves poo will be hilarious. But it has to be real poo. You could put it anywhere from in his cleats, in his bball pants pocket, batting glove, inside the flap on his cap...the list goes on you decide"
  • "Create a fake ESPN baseball tonight "breaking news" reports and have it broadcast in his room while he's watching TV. Something like 'Inge traded to Tokyo's Yomiuri Giants for cash considerations'" How the f*** do you propose he go about that banstyle74 ?
  • "Get Leyland to tell him that he cleared waivers and has been traded to the Dodgers, and when he calls them, have someone there tell him they are sending him back to Double A Jacksonville for a little more seasoning." Somehow I don't see Jim Leyland as the prankster type.
And by far my favorite suggestion...

"Alright here's what you do next time you are at a hotel room. You get an average sized metal trash can and a case of a beverage you can drink a lot of. You drink all the beverages you can and spend a while peeing into the trash can.(Yeah yeah it's gross, but the payoff is worth it.) After you've filled it as much as you can, half prop it against his door, knock and run. When he opens the door, it should fall forward onto his feet, thus giving him a wonderful footbath."

Dear God.


Buzzsaw said...

It's weird there were 4 fucking posts on a Sunday night, haha. BTW Jeff and I did the trashcan thing to someone (Enders??) freshman year ... minus the piss

Buzzsaw said...

Biglot's has gotta have something up his sleeve, right??

Matt Jenks said...

Moises Alou is all over that suggestion. You can tell by the words "wonderful footbath". Clearly, this is the best way to make the soles of your feet soft and supple. Attaboy, Moises.

For added effect, leave a floater in the can of piss.

Daris said...

pee in a trash can and lean it on a door? thats the oldest trick in the book. Unorginal.

I'd just call Inge, act like I was a cop, and tell him a family memeber died. Simple and effective.

A couple April Fool's ago, I called my grandma acting all freaked out and screaming I murdered someone. I went into a detailed explanation and by the end I told her I had to get out of Bloomington. She told me "turn yourself in" and I could tell she was freaking out. She was breathing really heavy adn you could hear the aniexty in her voice. I could tell her world was coming to an end.She almost passed out. More funny than piss in a bucket any day of the week.

im an asshole.

Buzzsaw said...

That is soo awful, to your grandma?? Wow, that couldn't have helped her health

Guy said...

My dad used to do that, but put the trash can inside an elevator (he would somehow tip the trash can against the elevator doors as they closed).

He also claims to have filled up paper bags with shaving cream, slipping the top under someone's door, and stomp really hard on the paper bag, blowing all of the shaving cream into the room.

Such a jokester.

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