Monday, July 16, 2007

Weekend Dimlights

A boring week in sports had a fitting end as there wasn’t too much to report this weekend. The boxing was exciting, but not too much else really caught my eye. Smarty Joines was actually sitting next to Chuck Liddell at the airport in Vegas with his laptop, but he failed to show him my “Four-Sided Fight Night” article. How perfect would that have been? I hope Brian didn't have the computer resting on his lap. I had a laptop sitting on my lap for 2 summers in a row during college, and I don't think I have any sperm left in the tank.

Stephen Jackson and Ron Artest have both managed to be suspended for 7 games at the start of the 2008 NBA season. Artest’s problems stem from a good old domestic dispute felony charge this past spring. Jackson is in trouble because he fired a gun into the air outside of a strip club in Indianapolis after being hit by a car. Good, old-fashion Midwestern fun if I do say so myself! David Stern and the rest of the NBA brain trust certainly know that the upcoming season will bring about many unanticipated problems, so they just want to get the sure bets out of the way. I wonder if Vegas is taking over/under bets on # of times Artest and Jackson will be suspended in 2008. I’ll take the over all day up to 60 games.

Boobs Mickelson managed to choke away the Scottish Open on Sunday when his play became a bit erratic coming down the stretch. Starting on 14, Phil went bogey, birdie, bogey, birdie, bogey. He was leading by one stroke heading into 18, but his bogey sent him to a playoff with Gregory Havret of France. On the first hole of the playoff, Phil shockingly blocked his drive way left, pitched out to the center of the fairway, hit an approach shot that was at least a club and a half too long, and then managed to get up and down for bogey. Havret pared the whole and won the championship. Mickelson was looking for only his second win outside of the US, and now goes into the British mentally shot.

The WNBA All-Star game produced some unexpected drama……………..just kidding, no it didn’t.

In baseball news, the Phillies became the first team to lose 10,000 games, Barry Bonds was 0-12 in the Giants series with the Dodges, and the Yankee’s climbed back above .500 back taking 3 out of 4 from the Devil Rays. The Cub’s closed the weekend trailing the Brewer’s by 3.5 games in the NL Central, while the NL East and NL West are both up for grabs as the Mets are only 1.5 games out in front of the Braves, and the Dodges are holding onto a slim 1 game lead over the San Diego Fathers.

The Red Sox still have a strangle hold on the AL East, leading the Yanks by 9 games, while the AL Central is very tight with the Tigers up a half game on the Indians (can’t forget about the Twins at 5 back either) The Angles lead the Mariners by 3 out in the AL West, and the Athletics will probably go on a 25 game winning streak soon so look out for them.

I think the most interesting story coming out of MLB this weekend was speculation about A-Rod’s future if he opts out of his deal and decides to test the free agent waters. Supposedly, a team that wanted him a few years back is still interested, and they should have the flexibility to go after him! I don’t want to see Log hurt himself but this would almost be too good.
(The picture is what I would suspect the press conference to look like. Meaning A-Rod is such a dick that he would steal Daisuke's # and wear eye-black....or is that the famed poopy conseco he is sporting???

In soccer, Brazil won the Copa America title defeating Argentina 3-0. The upset came without Ronaldinho or Kaka. I taped Ronaldinho doing this during Brazil’s match today. (Fast forward to the last 30 seconds if you don’t really feel like watching him grind on a dude wearing a wig.)

Victoria Beckham has a reality show on NBC titled “Coming to America and Becks himself has started blogging. I only included that news beacuse the picture is just too funny to pass up. Can you imagine taking a serious picture in that pose without your shirt on. I'd have to be making at least $100-$200. Most people would demand more, I'm just that proud of my body.

In entertainment news, the ESPY’s were televised tonight on ESPN. I watched the first 20 minutes and decided that was enough. Lebron was really funny from what I saw, but the show is a drag. I already knew who won as the show was taped over a week ago, and the information leaked all over the internet. I’m done typing.


Guy said...

Larry Brown probably had a heart attack when he saw Artest and Jackson in the news together again.

Those Beckham pictures. Weird.

Buzzsaw said...

The crips and bloods better watch their ass, the NBA is assembling a pretty formidable gang in California, they've got Jackson, Artest, Harrington, now D-Fish is back ... and they've gotta be scared of Hawes, the white guy is always the craziest mother fucker.

Guy said...

Imagine if someone like Sprewell played for that melee Pacers team. The thing is, it probably never would have happened in Detroit if that was the case because it would have gone down even sooner in the season.

I forgot to mention this in my first comment... you really had me going with the WNBA comment. I was prepared for anything from a tit shot to a camera crew catching a few of them "together" in the locker room.

Daris said...

The WNBA Allstar game should just be titled "When Huge Giant Lesbians Invade (Insert Name of City and Year)"