Yes, the rumors are true. I am in Europe. The metric system is fucking hard. So is the fact that no one speaks English, or least they pretend not to. I haven’t seen any especially hairy chicks, but I did go to the beach and there were topless women with gross saggy boobs. Other than that everything is great. Yesterday I found a British pub called Mr. Pickwick’s where they spoke English and had the Liverpool-Chelsea game on T.V. We grabbed some pints of Guiness and sat down to watch the game, err, match. It was the home debut of Liverpool’s biggest offseason signing, Fernando Torres, and he did not disappoint. In the 16th minute he took a long pass from Gerrard down the left side against one of Chelsea’s new signings, defender Tal Ben Haim. Keeping the ball on his right foot he somehow squeezed it between the defender and the oncoming Petr Cech, banking it off the far post into the net.
But Torres’ goal was wasted after Lampard converted the penalty on a very questionable call. Moral of this story: Torres is the next Henry and, as always, Chelsea = douches.
So that’s basically the extent of the sports I’ve seen while I’ve been over here. Hopefully it’ll get better once I get more used to things. I just wanted to say thanks to the other contributors for doing such a great job and picking up the slack. Expect BigLots of course.