I don’t know where the party is now, but I do know where the party was on Saturday night … right here. My apartment was the place to be. You see, I don’t like ‘casual drinking’; I don’t understand it. I’m not gonna act like I enjoy the taste of beer, but I will admit to enjoying its affect on me. So, I look for the quickest possible way to feel that. On Saturday night, the quickest way involved Michael Vick’s indictment. I’ve always wanted to read it, so I could make my own judgments. I don’t feel comfortable letting ESPN’s talking heads make my judgments for me. The only way I thought I could get myself to read the transcript was to make the best drinking game ever, the Mike Vick Indictment Drinking Game. I’m working on a better title. Here are the rules:
Legend:One Drink = One second or one shot of beer
Page two gave us a nice breather, it was only ten seconds of drinking. At this point it became difficult for me to read and I was laughing at the end of every sentence. Page three was also kind of short, but there was twelve seconds of drinking. It really set me up for a bad page four, aka, the puke page.
The Onion (Picture)