Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Joe Pa Done on Sidelines?

Ya, you heard it here. Rumor has it Joe Pa is considering making the full time switch upstairs. He is either afraid of the sidelines, or likes his newly installed Cappuccino machine up in the press box at Beaver Stadium.

After his little accident in Wisconsin last year I don’t really blame him.Take a look. Here’s what happens when old timers get too close to the action.

Come to think of it he didn’t call plays anyway. Joe stood their looking confused and angry; two classic symptoms of an elderly person slowly slipping into the early stages of dementia. So, maybe this story isn’t a big deal unless you’re a member of Joe’s family or a Penn State fan who wishes he would just give it up already. If he moves upstairs full time, the Nittany Lions are stuck with him for at least 5 more years.

Joe is just enjoying the press box too much. Here’s what he had to say:

"You're really a cheerleader most of the time down on the sideline. I enjoyed being upstairs, I really did. I sat down, had a nice time, had a cup of coffee. I felt like a newspaper guy. I was even able to watch television."

Joe Paterno has been competing with Bobby Bowden for a long time, both from a coaching longevity and wins standpoint. I think Bobby Bowden needs to consider putting himself in harms way this year, so he can enjoy the luxuries and amenities of Doak Campbell in Tallahassee just as Joe Pa is doing up in Happy Valley . How can he expect to compete with Joe Pa if he has to stand on the sidelines 11-13 times a year for a few hours? He doesn’t coach either, so it really should be a problem for the Seminoles.

Oh, I keep forgetting Florida State plays the University of Miami again this year. Anytime someone is near a Hurricane football player, he’s likely to be on the wrong end of a violent act. I just hope Bobby B. doesn’t get so injured that he can’t enjoy his new luxury box. Come on Hurricanes, keep the attack light. He’s old, and I’m sure he carries a lot of cash.

In other news, Charlie Weis heard the news, and immediately asked “How close is our press box to the hot dog stand?”

’s Courier Journal


Buzzsaw said...

Joe Pa is a complete joke, he does nothing anyway. Please retire

sockless dilemma said...

I give Joe Pa hella respect for just getting up after that hit. I'm suprised he didn't shatter into thousands of little pieces like the terminator 2 cop.

Guy said...

I was at the Penn State-Ohio State game where the old man kept running into the bathroom because he had the shits. A couple of Penn State fans behind me were losing it.

Daris said...

i forgot about that. nothin like espn coverin joe pa as he runs into the locker room to dump.

get a pack of Depends old man. you can't smell poop through the tv, so i wouldn't know it was happening.

i bet he has very "corny" bowel movements.