Sunday, August 12, 2007

Sockless Says, "Becks Gives Me Nightmares"

David Beckham sits out yet another game leaving the 32,000 fans in attendance wondering to themselves why they keep buying these 15 dollar 2 bit MLS tickets. The revolution set a record in attendance for a regular season game on Sunday. Fans flocked to Gillette Stadium in hopes of seeing Beckham on the pitch. The unsatisfied had to settle with watching Cobi Jones prance up and down the field. You can insert the Gun in your mouth NOW!! Beckham has almost compiled 40 minutes on the field since his traveling circus came to the United States in late July. If I was Beckham I wouldn’t risk getting hurt in a pointless MLS regular season game either. I, like him, would fake a month long ankle sprain (ha an ankle sprain…that’s the oldest trick in the book) and rest up for the exhibition against Germany on August 22nd and the European Championship qualifying matches against Israel & Russia in mid September. So if you really want to see Beckham play I would buy tickets for a game in Late September after he gets done with his more important international matches.

I attached the first draft of my letter I am writing to David Beckham. I just hope Beck's gets his hands on it before Posh cunt can throw it away.

Dear David,

You might have the United States fooled but there is no fucking way you’re gonna pull the same shit with me. I remember watching your arrival in LAX on TV one dreadful summer night not long ago. I laughed in my head and thought to myself this guys going to promote soccer in America? This guy doesn’t even start for Real Madrid and the L.A galaxy threw a 32.5 million dollar contract at you? Your skills are quickly fading and you’re sure as shit not getting any younger. I quickly tried to change that particular news channel, but there you were again and again and again. Suddenly the joke was over and the situation got serious. I pulled my blankets over my head and tried to quickly cry myself to sleep.

I woke up the next morning sad and angry. I just want you to know I’m not pissed at you; I just question your decision making. I’m upset at the Galaxy and the media for blowing this situation entirely out of proportion. If the Galaxy were serious about “saving soccer”, they would have invested in a player who is exciting to watch like Ronaldinho, or Cristiano Ronaldo. As a matter of fact. I bet most of Europe is laughing at us dumb Americans for getting so excited about you coming here. Starting a mere 5 of 25 games for real Madrid just doesn’t cut it. If you were a real man with an ounce of dignity you, would have accepted the 2 year contract extension with your club team in Europe. With that extension you would accept the late game substitute role and add some flare towards the end of the match. If you did that I would respect you. Instead you come to America where soccer is a joke of a sport and everyone shits their pants upon your arrival. I just want to know what is going to happen when our high expectations for you don't meet up with your performances on the field? I think you might turn into a second guessing, unconfident version of A-Rod.. The media hoopla will be over and then I could get a piece of sound sleep at night! I just wanted to write this letter and let you know that I’m on to your games Mr. Beckham.

~Sockless Dilemma

p.s. Tell Posh to do something with that mop of a hair due on her bleached scalp. It makes her look like a bigger bitch than she already is.


Buzzsaw said...

Posh's vag doesn't throw anything away, it devours all

sammich said...

i bet he cries if he reads that

Daris said...

i suspect he would as well.

Guy said...

I think Posh is overrated.


Great stuff. Your style of writing really fits in around here (Mean spirited, check; sarcastic, check; offensive, check).

I hope to see more "specials to Log's Blog" in the future.