Saturday, August 18, 2007

Professional Athletes Here's Some Full House Inspiration

This is for Lamar Odom, Lawrence Taylor, Darryl Strawberry, Doc Gooden, Jamal Lewis, all MLB steriod users, Jennifer Capriati, Ken Caminiti (found with crack), Nate Newton and 75% of those sweet Cowyboy teams. (Just to name a few.)

Actually its for any athlete/reporter, current or retired, who is retarted. We can all learn a little from Stephanie Tanner.

If you don't believe me look at these quotes from Searchwarp:

Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

Baseball player Tito Fuentes, after getting hit by a pitch: “They shouldn't throw at me. I'm the father of five or six kids."

Football coach Ray Malavasi: "I don't care what the tape says. I didn't say it."

Baseball player Dizzy Dean, after a 1-0 game: "The game was closer than the score indicated."

Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

Bill Cowher, Pittsburgh Steelers coach: "We're not attempting to circumcise rules."

Jim Wohford: "Ninety percent of the game is half mental."

Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Charles Shackleford of the NCSU basketball team: "Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious."

Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've won at every level, except college and pro."

Theismann's quote is my personal favorite. Stephanie Tanner inspire us all, right now, you trashy methhead. (Sean if you read this, thanks for the link and the tears that followed.)


Buzzsaw said...

Thank you Sean

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